Breaking News:
Zack Snyder to Ruin Justice League Movie

Breaking News:
Zack Snyder to Ruin Justice League Movie

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Warner Brothers has decided to triple-down on veteran/terrible filmmaker Zack Snyder with the announcement late Sunday that Zack Snyder will ruin a Justice League movie, to be released sometime in 2018.

Snyder first ruined a movie based on DC Comics’ iconic superheroes with last year’s Man of Steel, a reboot of the Superman franchise, that many likened to Christopher Nolan’s reboot of the Batman franchise, because they hoped it would be as good. It wasn’t. Not even close.

Soon after the release of Man of Steel, Warner announced a planned sequel for Summer 2015, which would pit the titular Man against Batman, attempting and presumably failing to recreate the magic of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, only with characters that are much less interesting and a filmmaker who is much less talented.

“We figure that if Marvel can make a billion by teaming up a bunch of superheroes nobody heard of ten years ago, we should be able to make a trillion with Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman,” an unnamed Warner executive told reporters. “Sure, we haven’t made a good movie with anyone except for Batman, like ever, and half of those weren’t even any good. But who cares about quality? Clearly we don’t, so why should the audience? (more…)



Breaking News:
Ben Affleck to Ruin Next Superman Movie

Warner Brothers announced last night that Ben Affleck has been cast as Batman in the as-yet-untitled-but-sure-to-be-terrible Man of Steel sequel, which will pit the Caped Crusader against Superman before they inevitably team up to fight Lex Luthor or whoever. Affleck is an acclaimed writer and director who usually does a terrible job of acting in anything he didn’t write or direct himself. He has played everything from unlikeable action hero (Paycheck, Reindeer Games, Armageddon), to one-dimensional asshole (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma) to heterosexual male attracted to Jennifer Lopez (Gigli, Jersey Girl, real life). The two-time Academy Award-winner for writing and producing will bring neither of those talents to the Man of Steel sequel so he can focus solely on not doing a good job acting.

Man of Steel director Zack Snyder will return to co-ruin the movie with Affleck as director and co-screenwriter of the tentatively-titled Superman vs. Batman. As we first reported here on Doomkopf, Snyder had a little under three years to ruin Man of Steel. He will have less than two years to ruin the sequel, with a release date set for July 17, 2015, necessitating the casting of Affleck.

Early drafts of the script have scenes depicting Batman shooting the Joker in the face with a gun and Superman cheating on Lois Lane with dozens of prostitutes, continuing the precedent set forth in Man of Steel of the heroes defying the core nature of their character and making them do things they would never, ever do.



Book of Doom: Green Lantern Corps #21

I’ve never liked John Stewart. More often than not, he’s just the token black character. He was the token black Green Lantern back when he was introduced and he was the token black character on the Justice League cartoon. His military background never really interested me. He killed Mogo (although I think he/it is back now) and apparently destroyed Fatality’s homeworld, but what Green Lantern hasn’t done some horrible things in the srevice of the Gaurdians? He’s just boring to me. Green Lantern Corps #21 didn’t really do anything to change my opinion of him.

Thankfully, this book is called Green Lantern Corps. John Stewart might be the star, but the supporting cast is a lot more interesting. I’ve always liked Soranik Natu as the Lantern who has to represent Korugar after Sinestro gave her race such a bad name. I liked Salaak as the protocol officer, but I like his new mission to search for the Gaurdians other hidden plots even more. That could be a really interesting subplot that builds up slowly. And I can only hope Kilowog will become a regular member of the cast as well.

I’m not sure about the four new Lantern recruits introduced in this issue. Granted, they’ve only been given a page of introduction each, but some of them seem miscast as Lanterns. Jruk, the gladiator seems like he’d be a better fit as a Red Lantern. Feska, the mother, seems like she might be a better fit as Star Sapphire. Maybe this will play into the story in the future, maybe not. These two characters also seem to have been recruited against their will. The Green Lanterns are supposed to derive their power from the strength of their will…so if they’d rather be at home with a child or battling in an arena, how effective will they be? The only specific example I can think of someone turning down a power ring is when Batman rejected the Sinestro Corps ring, but I guess I always assumed being a GL was a choice. And if it isn’t, then what’s with all the talk of Salaak and Stewart quitting the Corps?

I did really like the artwork in the issue. Bernard Chang has a great classic superhero style. The coloring by Marcelo Maiolo was also really nice, and I have a feeling that the color schemes in the new Lantern introduction may have been very intentional and a hint as to what may come with these characters.

In summary, this issue didn’t amaze me. Sorry, Van. What it did do, though, was set up a lot of story possibilities. Why did Stewart and Fatality’s power rings go wonky? Was this related to the Durlan attack or a complete coincidence? What’s Salaak’s place in the Corps going to be? Will Kilowog take over as protocol officer? How are these new Lanterns going to react to being recruited against their will? And that (coupled with the fact that I don’t have a lot of monthly titles I follow anymore), is enough to bring me back next issue.

Let’s see what Jim Doom has to say:

I’m late adding my thoughts to this based on some unexpected family stuff that came up this weekend, so I apologize for that.

Going into this issue, I can tell you I wouldn’t have bought it if it weren’t for the fact that Van wrote it. I’ve tried in the past to get into the greater Green Lantern universe characters and they’ve just never really held my interest. I’ve been able to stick with Hal Jordan, but that’s it.

I took this issue (along with the rest of last week’s haul) to my usual Wednesday afternoon comics-reading spot (Don & Millie’s, Saddle Creek & Farnam, 99 cent margaritas) and pulled it out of the bag first. I started reading it, sort of stumbled through the opening pages where John Stewart is talking to Fatality, thinking “This is kind of clumsy exposition,” but at the same time, “I need this exposition because I don’t know what’s going on here.” So anyway, those first few pages, I’m thinking “Yeah, I just still don’t really care for these characters.”

But then a funny thing happened. I got to the part on Oa where that guy with all the arms was resigning his position, and I forgot this was a comic written by my friend that I was trying to fairly assess, and I got sucked right in. I was reading these characters I knew (even though I can only remember him as “that guy with all the arms”) and I was reading the development of a universe I’m familiar with and I just completely forgot the Van aspect. And honestly, I can’t think of a reaction that could make me more excited for my friend who wrote this.

One of the things I liked most about the assembly of this new Green Lantern Corps is that these people seemed almost abducted by the Corps. I guess that kind of always happens, but it seemed especially jarring. I think one of the things that worked well about it was the subtlety of the coloring. Based on the reds, the oranges, and so on, I thought we were seeing recruitment of all spectrums. But instead, we’re getting personalities that would’ve maybe worked better as red, orange, blue, whatever lanterns, but because of the relative decimation of the Corps, they’re being chosen as green. I don’t know why, but I find this much more compelling than the new Green Lantern who has shown up over in the main title (which I subsequently dropped after a few issues).

Another thing I really liked about this issue was the little hint where the multi-armed guy was talking about the Guardians’ secret projects around the universe. I am hoping that was alluding to some pursuit and discovery of those projects and that got me pretty excited too.

This review is unfortunately vague because I don’t have the issue beside me, but I came away from it wanting to read the next issue and being happy for my friend who wrote it. And these days, I’m really happy to find a book I want to keep reading that only costs me $2.99.



Book of Doom: Green Lantern Corps #21

We haven’t done a Book of Doom for quite a while here at doomkopf.com. In fact, we haven’t been doing a whole lot of anything lately. But from time to time, motivation hits us and we feel the need to blog about something. So what’s so special about Green Lantern Corps #21?

Well, it’s the start of a brand new era in the Green Lantern universe. There hasn’t been one of those in at least eight or nine months…so it’s probably not that. Well it’s starring John Stewart, everyone’s third favorite Green Lantern of Earth (sorry, Kyle Rayner)…so it’s probably not that either. And there isn’t a new superstar creative team, so it can’t be that…or can it?

You see, I KNOW one of the new writers. Well, perhaps “met” is a more apt word. Jim Doom “knows” him. His name is Van Jensen, he of Pinnochio: The Vampire Slayer fame. But to me, he’ll always be Jean-Claude Van Doom. Way back in the day, JCVD was a founding member of the Legion of Doom, the precursor to doomkopf.com. [Note: Doom Deluise is embarassed by the truth about what happened and edited my post. No, really. Follow this link to view JCVD’s old posts] Van Jensen has since moved on to bigger and better things. Namely, getting paid to write comics instead of writing ABOUT comics for free. And Van’s got his first gigs for one of the major publishers as the new co-writer of Green Lantern Corps.

I’ll be honest, I don’t have high hopes for this issue. Van’s a nice guy and a talented writer, but the concept of the GLC without Guy Gardner or Hal Jordan kind of bores me to death. But maybe he’ll surprise me. Of course, you can rest assured that we won’t pull any punches just because our friend is writing the thing.

So come back this weekend for my review (and hopefully at least one from Jim Doom) of Green Lantern Corps #21!



Skip Ender’s Game

The trailer for Ender’s Game, which hits theaters this November, was released this week. As a geek and a sci-fi fan, I should be excited. But as a gay man, I have a different reaction:

SKIP ENDER’S GAME.

You see, Orson Scott Card, the creator of the book and executive producer of the movie, is a rampant homophobe. I could give you the details myself, but you can find them better written and researched here and here. In short, he’s a crusader against marriage equality, claims all homosexuals are that way because they were molested as children, and writes stories punishing men for having gay sex. What a guy!

Do you really want to give this guy a single penny to add to his existing fortune? Me neither.



Wrestling & Comics

When we started this little blog 7 1/2 years ago (WOW!), comic books were a lot more exciting than they are now. DC was going through a revolution, with Geoff Johns reviving the Green Lantern franchise and then bringing back the multiverse in Infinite Crisis. Marvel, my first love in comics, had become my whipping boy, with Joe Quesada giving Brian Michael Bendis free reign to destroy everything I loved about the House of Ideas. There was a lot to praise and a lot to complain about. Today, comics just aren’t as exciting. Sure, series like Invincible, Daredevil, Aquaman and The Walking Dead still keep me interested enough to go to the comic shop every week, but there isn’t really that buzz around the industry that there was back then.

DC’s New 52 really sucked out most of my interest in the company. Suddenly, all the characters I’d spent the last decade getting to know weren’t themselves anymore. Infinite Crisis, the story that got me interested in DC in the first place, probably doesn’t even exist in the continuity anymore. Of course, we don’t know for sure, because DC won’t frakking explain what happened and what didn’t in their new universe. For continuity buffs like myself, that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Marvel hasn’t really evolved much over the last decade either. It seems like they have a mega-crossover event that changes the status quo forever twice a year now, which makes you wonder what the status quo ever was to begin with. Instead of ruining the Avengers for me, Bendis is now ruining the X-Men, but they’ve really been ruined for a while anyway. Ed Brubaker, the best thing going at Marvel, has stepped away from superhero comics for the time being. And for some reason Marvel thinks it’s their responsibility to make me angry.

The declining frequency of our posts is a clear indication of how much we’ve really stopped caring. Back in the day we’d have a new post everyday, sometimes twice a day. We’d do weekly reviews of comics. We’d do Books of Doom that we’d review as a group. Now we can barely be bothered to post a Podcast of Doom transcript or bitch about stupid crap. Which brings me to the title of this blog post.

Jim Doom, Doom DeLuise and myself, Doomkopf’s version of the DC’s Trinity (before you make the joke guys, I realize I’m Wonder Woman), have two foundations to our friendship. One is comics, and the fact that we seem to agree on most aspects of storytelling and art styles. The other is professional wrestling, and the fact that we seem to agree on most aspects of storytelling and in-ring styles.

Tonight is Wrestlemania night. As I’m writing this in Austin, TX, I’m a little sad that I’m not sitting next to my buddies at DJ’s Dugout in Omaha, NE. We’ve been watching the big pay-per-views together for as long as we’ve been doing this blog. Now I’m in Austin, and DeLuise is about ready to leave the country, and we’re not going to be able to do that together anymore. But one thing we CAN do together is bitch about it on the internet. So as of right now, Doomkopf is officially a blog about comics AND wrestling. And I can’t think of a more appropriate day to do it than on Wrestlemania day.

I’m not sure if this means we’ll be posting more frequently, but it does mean we’ll have a lot more to talk about. Starting tomorrow with a review of Wrestlemania XXIX, naturally. I hope my fellow wrestling buddies will do the same.



Make Mine Maddening

Superior Spider-Man #9 is hitting comic shops in May. How is Marvel choosing to advertise it?

The hottest comic in comics comes to a turning point that will get you angrier than you were after Spidey #700!

That’s an interesting choice. See, I personally buy and read comic books because they make me happy. Sometimes they make me sad, sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me worried, but like any form of entertainment, the end result of these feelings is enjoyment. Never in my life have I said “Man, I want to get really angry. Can I please give you $4 to make me mad?”

See, there are lots of things in this world that make me angry for absolutely nothing. Just a few days ago Target and Apple Support wasted my entire afternoon performing “troubleshooting” on my iPod, only to tell me after several hours that my issue wasn’t covered under the warranty. And there were all the bigots shooting their mouths off last week about why I shouldn’t get equal protection under the law because the person I’ll eventually want to marry has boy parts instead of girl parts. Not to mention the time my landlord didn’t pay their gas bill and my apartment building didn’t have hot water. Or that creepy son of a bitch who decided stalk me a few years ago. All these things made me angry, and they didn’t cost me one red cent. And you know what else? I didn’t enjoy a single one of them.

A wise man once said “Anger leads to hate.” And if Marvel is trying to intentionally anger their customer base, I kind of hate them for it. “Angry” is not an emotion I like to feel. You’d think out of everyone on the planet, the people who produce comics featuring The Hulk would understand that.



Who the hell is Angela, and why should I care?

When was the last time anyone cared about Spawn? Was it when that terrible movie came out? How about when that terrible animated series was around. Or when the “action” figures were all the rage? Spawn was at the forefront of everything that went wrong with comics in the 90s: too grim, too gritty, spikes and capes up the wazoo, bad art and even worse writing. I mean, the only thing worse about the 90s was that whole “Bad Girl” craze with Vampirella, Lady Death and the like, right? If only there was some way they could have combined the two into one character that epitomized the worst that comic books had to offer two decades ago…

Oh wait, they did. Her name was Angela. And now for some god awful reason she’s part of the Marvel Universe.

Or at least she will be by June. Angela is going to make an appearance in Age of Ultron, and it looks like she might be here to stay. According to newsarama.com, “the appearance of Angela will be at the end of the series, with editor-in-chief Axel Alonso likening her appearance to the post-credits scenes at the end of Marvel Studios films.” Apparently Mr. Alonso isn’t quite aware that the appeal of those surprise appearances at the end of Marvel movies is that they’re SURPRISE APPEARANCES. There’s no such thing as a Thanos superfan, but when Thanos showed up at the end of Avengers without notice, every fanboy in the theater creamed his pants because they weren’t expecting it. (more…)



A Means to an End

Peter Parker has always been my favorite comic book character. Not Spider-Man, mind you, Peter Parker. Yes, Pete has the proportionate strength and agility of a spider, but it’s not his powers that make him cool, it’s his personality. When Spider-Man isn’t Peter, I’m just not interested. Ben Reilly, Miguel O’Hara, Miles Morales, Otto Octavius…I’m just not interested.

nullI haven’t been reading Superior Spider-Man for specifically that reason. I bet Dan Slott’s making some pretty good stories, because I’ve enjoyed almost everything he’s done, but I just don’t care. I have no idea what’s going on in the title aside from the advanced solicitations like the one to the left. But I think I figured out what the whole point of replacing Pete with Doc Ock.

Peter’s had it way too easy over the last few years. Sure, he had to give up his marriage with Mary Jane to Mephisto in order to save Aunt May’s life, but what else has really gone wrong? He’s become a respected hero as a member of the Avengers and the FF. He’s got his dream job working as an inventor at Horizon Labs. He has unlimited resources at his disposal, so he doesn’t have to worry about making rent on his sweet penthouse apartment, running out of web fluid or not having the tech necessary to take on anybody in his rogues gallery. He’s banged Black Cat and a sexy/nerdy police investigator, and it turns out his years-long relationship with MJ wasn’t blinked out of existence, only their marriage certificate was. Aunt May is happy and safe, his secret ID is well-protected…does this sound like Spider-Man to any of you? (more…)



Robin, Robout

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This hasn’t happened in comics yet, but it’s all over newsarama.com: Damian Wayne is dead. Gotta say, I did NOT see that one coming.

This will probably come as happy news to some. At least a couple of my fellow bloggers were not fans of Damian Wayne as Robin. He never really bothered me, but I can see why he would. First, his conception doesn’t really make sense in the New 52 timeline. If Bruce Wayne has only been Batman for 5 years and Damian is 12, that means Ra’s al Ghul decided Bruce Wayne was worthy to mate with his daughter a good 8 years before he ever put on the cowl, when Bruce was barely into his 20s. Second, Damian’s a whiny little kid. Nobody likes a whiny kid.

nullBut my immediate thought when I heard the news was “so who’s the new Robin?” There’s got to be a new Robin, doesn’t there? There’s always been a Robin, hasn’t there? Turns out, there has.

Jason Todd was actually introduced in the Batman comics while Dick Grayson was still wearing the green short shorts. As soon as Dick became Nightwing, Jason was there to step into his booties. Tim Drake debuted a year after comic readers voted to kill Jason Todd and became Robin after 5 months. Except for Stephanie Brown’s short stint (which may or may not have still happened), Tim was Robin until he became Red Robin, specifically so Damian could become the new Robin.

But in New 52, Tim Drake was never Robin. So Batman had Dick (who turned out all right), then Jason (who was beaten to death with a crowbar by popular vote), possibly Stephanie (who was tortured to death), and Damian (who is murdered by his clone…no, seriously). So maybe there won’t be a new Robin? That’s really not a very good track record. If I was Batman, I’d be having second (fourth?) thoughts about bringing another tweener into the game.

But get real, there’s got to be a new Robin. And it’s got to be someone the fans already know. So let’s speculate!

Tim Drake
Why not just go back to what worked? (more…)