Spider-Man banged his mom

Spider-Man banged his mom

Hey, remember how Doc Ock used to bang May Parker back in the ’70s? Well now Otto Octavious has all the memories of Peter Parker. So May Parker is essentially his mom. Did Marvel just retcon incest into Spider-Man’s history?

His only weakness is wood

Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.

I’ll Be Damned

I just saw the trailer for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Take a look:

Now I DESPISE Nicolas Cage, so there’s no chance I’ll be watching this movie, but hot damn, that kind of looks good. The action scenes with GR in full-on flaming skull mode look really cool. Seeing Ghost Rider out during the day is an interesting visual I never associate with the character.

Of course, the dialogue was terrible. “He’s the only good thing I’ve ever done” is so cliched it hurts. And when the woman said “I’m not afraid of you,” I said the line “You should be” along with Nic. The addition of Idris Elba in the cast is a nice surprise, but whenever he’s on-screen I just wish it was Stringer Bell (even when he was on The Office).

That Is All

John Hodgman, minor televison personality, PC, and Resident Expert of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, recently did an interview with newsarama to promote his new book of complete world knowledge, That Is All. He had some interesting things to say about DC’s New 52 iniviative, including the following:

As I say, I don’t want to mean about all these books. I just don’t understand why Rob Liefeld on Hawk and Dove… he’s not my cup of tea. I don’t understand how he’s allowed to continue to draw things. My brain cannot process these impossible figures that are considered to be appealing by other people.

Well said, John. Well said.

Superman: The Man of Textured Rubber?

Yesterday, Warner Brothers has released an official sneak peak of Henry Cavill in the Superman costume from the upcoming Superman: Man of Steel movie:

While Cavill himself certainly looks more like Superman than the last few people I can remember in the role, I’ve got to wonder…

Why does Superman need to wear rubber?

It makes sense for Batman, Spider-Man, the X-Men and the like. Those guys aren’t indestructible. But last time I checked, Superman is. If your skin can stop bullets on it’s own, wouldn’t you want a costume with a little bit more mobility than molded rubber?

The Price Was Right

Today was what I would characterize as a slow day for new comics. There were only two titles in my pull list this week (Invincible Iron Man and The Walking Dead), and I picked up another I was on the fence about (Daredevil) and one I didn’t know was even coming out (War of the Green Lanterns: Aftermath). Four comics just isn’t enough to satisfy me for a week, so I had to find something else. Unfortunately, most of my options were Fear Itself spin-offs and DC titles that are getting cancelled next month.

There was one other comic that caught my eye though- Thor: Heaven & Earth, written by Paul Jenkins and illustrated by Ariel Olivetti. Thor is usually hit or miss for me, but I’ve been a fan of Jenkins’ stuff in the past (mostly the Spider-Man stuff), and Olivetti’s art is always gorgeous. But being a Marvel mini-series, it was surely priced at $4, right? Wrong.

For some reason, Marvel decided to price this one at $3. Same story length, same paper quality, same everything, but Marvel dropped the price a buck from their usual mini-series pricing. So I gave a book I had absolutely no intention of buying a shot.

And you know what? It was terrible. Like really bad. A total stinker. There was practically no plot, certainly no set-up for the second issue, and since it was set well before the age of superheroes in the Marvel U, all the character designs were a little off. Not good at all.

But since Marvel priced this mini-series lower, they split three dollars with the local comic shop instead of zero. And if it had been good, and I had bought all four issues, they would have split twelve instead of zero. Hopefully Marvel is finally taking after DC and drawing the line at $2.99.

But probably not.

Why I Love My Local Comic Shop

Larry, owner of Trade-a-Tape Comics, on why he didn’t have Fantastic Four #587 on sale today:

“I don’t want people coming in here and buying ten or twelve copies because they think it’s going to be worth something. I want my regular customers to get their copies. Then if there’s any left over, those knuckleheads can have them.”

Awesome. Oh, and he still sold one to me.

Dead is dead

This week marks the release of Fantastic Four #587, the highly anticipated issue that will feature the death of one member of Marvel’s First Family. Marvel is going to great pains to make this feel as special as possible. It’s reprinting the last four issues of FF the same day, the comic itself is being sold in a polybag so you can’t just flip through it at the shop, and most surprisingly, Marvel is allowing shops to sell the issue a day earlier on Tuesday.

Of course, we all know the character that dies won’t stay dead for long. But on the eve of the biggest death in comics since Batman (or maybe Nightcrawler? Or did somebody die last week?), it looks like two long-standing staples in the comic book industry might be gone for good: the Comics Code Authority and Wizard Magazine.

Late last week, both DC Comics and Archie Comics announced they’d no longer be using the Comics Code stamp of approval on their comics. Marvel stopped using the CCA stamp about a decade ago in favor of their own rating system, so quite frankly I’m surprised it took this long for the other companies to follow suit.

The weird thing is, it seems as though the CCA may not have existed for the last year or so, despite it’s stamp of approval gracing the covers of kid-friendly comics from DC and Archie. The company that used to run the approval process denies that they’re supposed to be running it, and they don’t know who is. Archie Comics even admits they haven’t actually been submitting issues for approval since 2009, despite using the stamp on their comics. Weird.

Much more surprising was the announcement that Wizard Magazine would no longer have a print edition, effective immediately. It’s being replaced by an online magazine, which certainly makes sense when I think about the fact that I’ve already linked to newsarama.com four times in this post. It does seem a little strange though, because if there’s one thing you can always count on comic fans to do, it’s read. While the publishing industry in general may be dying a slow death, I kind of figured people would still read a magazine about reading comics. I guess that’s not the case. (more…)

Dear Mark Bagley…

Dear Mark Bagley,

My name is Aaron and I am one of your biggest fans. You were drawing Amazing Spider-Man back when I first started reading comics, and I rank you alongside John Romita as one of the two best depictions of the character in it’s nearly 50 years of existence. There’s something about your style that makes me want to buy everything with your name attached.

But for the love of god, please do something worth reading again.

Seriously man, what have you been doing for the last decade? Your post-Amazing work started out with so much promise. Thunderbolts was instantly one of my favorite titles, and the only reason I bought it was because you were drawing it. But what happened then?

I’m sure I’ve ranted on here before about how much I dislike Ultimate Spider-Man (and I challenge Doom Deluise to find it, because I’m too lazy to do so), but it wasn’t because of your art. Bendis just doesn’t write superheroes the right way. So that was, what, seven years I couldn’t read anything you drew?

Then you made the big move to DC and immediately jumped onto a weekly comic series. I have to give you major respect, because no other comic book artist working today could have pulled off that schedule without letting the quality of their art deteriorate. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about the writing. After a strong Act 1, the book just sorta lost its magic. For some reason Kurt Busiek just couldn’t sustain the quality that the two of you had on your Thunderbolts run. Your art was the only reason I bought all 52 issues of that.

I really could have gotten behind your work with Judd Winick on Batman, but then DC pulled the rug out from underneath you and you got shuffled off to Justice League. And as much as I tried to love the Justice League, I just couldn’t do it. I mean seriously, Congorilla? And Jade was by FAR the least interesting character to come back from the dead in Blackest Night, a list that includes Hawkman, Aquaman and Firestorm. Yikes.

Now you’re making your big triumphant return to Marvel. Unfortunately, your right back to Ultimate Spider-Man and the dreaded Brian Michael Bendis.

I’m begging you Mark, please make your return to the Ultimate Universe a short one. Find someone else to work with. Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, Dan Slott, Peter David, Jeff Parker, Johnathan Hickman, David McCann…so many great writers that you could be working with. Anyone whose initials are not BMB, really.

I want to love the comics you draw, because I love the way you draw comics. Please do something, ANYTHING, that reminds me of the way I loved reading your comics when I was a kid. Don’t make me bring Santa into this.


Fin Fang Doom

Breaking News:
Zack Snyder to Ruin Next Superman Movie

Deadline.com reported earlier tonight that Warner Bros. has chosen terrible director Zack Snyder to ruin the next installment in the Superman movie franchise. After weeks of speculation that a talented director such as Christopher Nolan or Darren Aronofsky could potentially helm the picture, the film studio decided to go with a director known for making horrendous adaptations of popular comic books to continue in the tradition of making Superman movies that no one enjoys.

Snyder has directed two bad comic book adaptations previously in his lackluster career. 2007’s 300 was an overtly homoerotic film enjoyed by dozens of movie-goers in 3-10 minute fits of masturbation. It also incorporated extended scenes of women writhing underwater to try to trick straight viewers into enjoying the horrible movie. 2009’s Watchmen was an abysmal cinematic translation of what most consider the greatest comic book ever created. Snyder managed to include the overly violent fight scenes and multiple shots of giant blue penises that were critical to the source material while avoiding any of the deeply emotional and thought-provoking aspects of the story.

Snyder plans to begin work on his atrocious Superman film as soon as his stupid movie about owls comes out and he finishes up his assumedly awful movie Sucker Punch.