Meaningless Fights of the Week- 11/26/08

Meaningless Fights of the Week- 11/26/08

Invincible 55Best Fight- Allen the Alien and Omni-Man escape from space prison, Invincible #55

While Invincible and Atom Eve have sex, readers are treated to a harrowing tale of Allen the Alien and Omni-Man escaping from the Viltrumite prison they’ve been trapped in together. Allen’s so strong he could have broken out whenever he wanted to, but he waited until all but two Viltrumites had left the facility so he’s be able to take Omni-Man with him. In the process of breaking out, Allen releases Battle Beast, whose only goal in life is to find the toughest fight he can and throw himself into it. Allen punches a hole in the prison’s hull and we’ve got a nice fight in outer space featuring Omni-Man, Allen and Battle Beast taking on two Viltrumites. In the grand tradition of Invincible fights, this thing is about as bloody and violent as you could possibly imagine.

At the end, Omni-Man drops a bombshell that changes things quite a bit. This whole time there’s been the imminent threat that the Viltrumite empire will show up on Earth and no one will be able to stop them, but Omni-Man tells Allen that the “empire” has been whittled down to les than 50 pure-blood Viltrumites in the entire universe. With Omni-Man, Allen, Battle Beast, Invincible and Kid Omni-Man, that might just be doable.

BoP 124Most Realistic Ending- The Joker vs. Oracle, Birds of Prey # 124

This week’s issue of BoP featured the fight that should have happened last week, the Clown Prince of Crime versus the former Batgirl. Oracle gets in a couple really good blows, including breaking the Joker’s gun and shattering the teeth that make up his precious smile, but in the end it comes down to this: Oracle is a woman in a wheelchair, and the Joker is a homicidal madman. Once Babs is out of her wheelchair she’s pretty much defenseless, and all it takes is a well-placed ball of roots to the side of the head and a kick down the stairs for the Joker to come out on top. Luckily Misfit teleports back in time to stop the Joker from finishing the deed, leaving Oracle to fight another day.

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Trinity #26

26In the lead: Tarot and newcomer Charity O’Dare take a mindtrip through time. Turns out that Tarot is the one woman chosen in this generation to be connected to the Worldsoul, which is the living spirit of the Earth. And apparently she can talk to her former (and deceased) Worldsoul connectees. Or something.

In the back-up: Morgaine Le Fey and Enigma finally work up the balls to ask Konvikt to join their team. There’s more back-story trying to make Konvikt seem like he’s just misunderstood instead of evil. That’s pretty much it.

My take: This is without a doubt the worst issue of Trinity so far. It was just plain terrible. The only interesting aspect of these twenty-two pages is that the lead ended with Tarot standing in front of ghostly apparitions of past Worldsoulers, and the back-up ended with Le Fey standing in front of the same ghostly apparitions of past Worldsoulers. So apparently Le Fey is also attuned to the Worldsoul. So that probably won’t help the good guys too much.

The whole thing about “one in every generation” seems to me like a blatant rip-off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Except instead of slaying vampires, all Tarot can do is feel the living spirit of the Earth. I guess that’s almost as exciting, though. Even the bit about connecting with past Worldsoulers in dreams seems a lot like Buffy having dreams about past Slayers. Oh yeah, and they’re both always women, apparently. Lame. (more…)



Meaningless Awards of the Week- 11/19/08

Best Artist- Marcos Martin, Amazing Spider-Man #578

There’s just something about Marcos Martin’s art that seems like a perfect fit for Spider-Man. His art reminds me a lot of John Romita Sr., and that’s really the pinnacle of Spider-Man as far as art goes. Unfortunately, this is only the fourth issue of Amazing Martin has drawn, and it’s only the second thing I’ve ever read that he’s drawn (the first being the superb Dr. Strange: The Oath mini-series). Here, I’ll just let this art speak for itself:
AmazingSpiderMan578Page01
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Trinity #25

25In the lead: The JSI breaks into the League’s secret HQ in Detroit and Carter Hall has a chit chat with the League’s leader, Barry Allen. In Europe, Enigma and Morgaine Le Fey stop fighting and decide to go track down Konvikt to use him as the third in their Trinity. Tarot arrives in Opal City and freaks out as reality shifts around her.

In the back-up: Alfred meets with Lois Lane, Richie Grayson and Thomas Tresser and tries to convince them the world is not as it should be, and they are a fundamental part of that change. Interceptor (Supergirl) shows up and Alfred subdues her with kryptonite. Everyone is convinced there’s some truth behind Alfred’s words, so they go off in search of the sixth member of their group: Donna Troy.

My take: That was not a very good issue.

There were five pages of the JIS/League confrontation, and not much came out of it. We learned Barry Allen formed the League after he was injured on a mission for the JSI, but considering this reality will cease to exist in ten issues or so, it seems a little unnecessary. And in case you were wondering, the roster of the League is Lex Luthor, Green Arrow, Fire, Vibe, Black Orchid and Ranger. Bit of a letdown. (more…)



Trinity #24

24In the lead: Morgaine Le Fey forms an impenetrable barrier around Europe. Gangbuster shows up at JSI HQ and gives Carter Hall the Khufu scroll. Enigma and Le Fey get in a fight because Le Fey is just killing everybody, but Enigma wants the power to revive people (namely, his wife and kids). He tries to convince Le Fey to use Konvikt as the third of their bad Trinity to complete the spell. The Khufu scroll returns Hall, Jay Garrick and Alan Scott to their youthful forms and convinces Hall that their world has been altered. He frees Firestorm and tries to convince The Flash (who was captured earlier in the issue) to help set things right. Meanwhile, Freddie Pennyworth, super spy, pays a visit to Lois Lane.

In the back-up: Despero’s fleet attacks Kanjar Ro. Jon Stewart saves Ro and attacks Despero’s fleet. Despero jumps into the vacuum of space (without a space suit and holding his breath) to attack Stewart. Krona steals Stewart out of the situation because he’s curious about his Oan/Qwardian hybrid energies. Despero takes Ro onboard his ship, intent on killing him, but Ro convinces Despero to seek revenge on Le Fey and Enigma, who tried to cheat Despero out of his share of the power. And Ro’s discovered where Owlman, Ultraman and Superwoman were sent in issue #13.

My take: This would all be so much easier if this series sucked. It’s easy to go on and on about something you hate, but it’s hard to talk about why you really like a series without blowing a fanboy splooge all over the blog.

I’ve said many times in these reviews that the pacing is probably the best part of Trinity. The World Without a Trinity storyline started out a bit slow and disjointed, but in the last few issues everything has really come together in a great way.

Ooh! I thought of something bad! Colorist Pete Pantazis seems to have mixed up Jay Garrick and Alan Scott this issue. The thinner, runner-like character has Scott’s blond hair, while the stockier, more Lantern-like character has Garrick’s brown-with-white-temples. Carter Hall even calls the guy with Jay’s hair Alan at one point. Even stranger, when they trio opens the Khufu scroll, the colorist gets Hall and Garrick screwed up, even though it’s obvious from the dialogue and action which is which. (more…)



Wonder Woman:
Bootylicious

Wonder Woman Bootylicious

A sign of things to come? Let’s hope not.



Book of Doom:
X-Men and Spider-Man #1

X-Men Spider-Man 1Welcome once again to the Book of Doom. This week we’ll be reviewing X-Men and Spider-Man #1, Marvel’s latest attempt to milk $4 out of it’s readers with a needless mini-series featuring its A-list characters. But y’know, sometimes these needless mini-series turn out to be a good read.

This week there’s four of us trying to decide into which category X-Men and Spider-Man #1 falls. In addition to the regular gang, Jason @ Legend Comics sent us a review, and since I’m such a nice guy I’m going to let him kick things off.

Jason @ Legend Comics: X-Men and Spider-Man #1 is not a book I would normally read given the X-Men and Spider-Man are Marvel’s most overused and tired properties. See the 30 million X-books, of which only Uncanny is even readable. The less said about Spider-Man post-One More Day the better. This is an attempt by Gage and co. to do the “retrofit continuity story”, in this case pre-Gwen Stacy’s death and pre-Amazing Adventures #11.

Spider-Man and the X-Men meet up to fight Kraven, who has been hunting Spider-Man to “bring him to justice”. The problem is that this book doesn’t really know what it wants to be-is it a fun, light hearted romp with Spidey and the original X-Men or is it a set-up to something bigger as suggested by the minor “twist” ending (featuring one of Marvels lamest villains)? It does not succeed at either.

Gage clearly is not on the level of a Brian Bendis when it comes to stories like this-Bendis is the unquestioned master of the “retro fitted story”, especially when it comes to dialogue. The art is passable but not great-like so many pros these days, Mario Alberti is good at backgrounds and action sequences but his faces are average to awful. (more…)



Trinity #23

23In the lead: Commander Hall supervises all the disturbances around the world from the JSI HQ in NYC. Ragman’s dealing with a feline Catwoman in Gotham while Green Arrow’s in Star City…just where he’s always been? Also, Black Adam’s mysteriously shown up in Washington D.C. and taking his frustration out on Ares’ invading minions, while Tomorrow Woman is defeating the Ultra-Humanite in Metropolis. Brainwave reads Firestorm’s mind and sees a world where the Trinity existed, but Hall still doesn’t believe it. Gangbuster and Tarot split up outside of the JSI HQ; Gangbuster is going to deliver Khufu’s scroll to Hall while Tarot has business in Opal City. And while the JSI is distracted by all these changes in the timeline, Enigma and Morgaine Le Fay have conquered most of Europe.

In the back-up: Jon Stewart is in deep space trying to gain control over the Void Hound that he’s been infected with since the start of the series, but ends up accidentally opening a wormhole to Earth. As Kanjar Ro flees Earth to regroup, it’s revealed exactly when he replaced Despero (issue #4). But he didn’t finish off Despero, who’s formed an army and is headed to Earth to take revenge on Ro. GL, Ro and Despero all converge on the wormhole, as Krona looks on: “This is…interesting.”

My take: Boy, Busiek & Co. sure managed to squeeze a lot into this issue. Pretty much every existing plot thread got a bit of play this week. I’m especially glad to see the real Despero back in the picture, as it’ll probably throw a wrench into just about everyone’s works. (more…)



Book of Doom:
X-Men/Spider-Man #1

X-Men Spider-Man 1Man this does not look like a good week for comics. Not a whole lot to get excited about and even less that is an easy jumping-on point. So who wins when the comic readers lose?

Marvel, apparently.

X-Men/Spider-Man is a mini-series that I was considering investing in. The art I’ve seen looks pretty damn good, and the last time I bought a “Spider-Man through the decades” mini-series I was very pleasantly surprised (2005’s Spider-Man/Human Torch). Odds are that due to budget restrictions I wouldn’t have bought it on a big Wednesday. But with my stack as small as it’ll be this Wednesday, it’s a lot more likely to happen.

Here’s what Marvel has to say about the issue:

X-MEN/SPIDER-MAN #1
COVER BY: MARIO ALBERTI
WRITER: CHRISTOS N. GAGE
PENCILS: MARIO ALBERTI
THE STORY:
Christos Gage (THUNDERBOLTS, HOUSE OF M: AVENGERS) is joined by international superstar-tist Mario Alberti (Redhand) to bring you the most misunderstood team of all time meeting the most misunderstood super hero of all time in a 4-part mystery that starts in the early days of the Marvel Age and winds it’s way through to today!
In Part One, Kraven the Hunter and the Blob attack the world’s strangest teens while deep in the background an even greater threat watches…and waits.



Meaningless Awards of the Week-
10/29/08

Dropped! Avengers: The Initiative

I am sick and tired of Skrulls. How long has this invasion been going on for anyway? Aside from mutants and Spider-Man, the Marvel Universe has been completely dominated by Skrulls this year, and I can’t stand it anymore. Here’s my new rule: if a Skrull is in a book, and it’s not a Skrull that’s normally part of the cast, then I’m not going to buy the book. So She-Hulk and Runaways are safe, but A:TI is not.

Of course, this particular book was already on thin ice. I buy the thing mostly because Dan Slott writes it, and Slott is leaving the title in a couple of months to write Mighty Avengers. Plus, the art lately has been all over the place. I’m not sure when the last time A:TI had a regular artist was, but it seems like it’s been a while.

Most Splash Pages- The Astounding Wolf-Man # 9

In its scant 20-page story, Astounding Wolf-Man had four splash pages, included one double splash page at the beginning. I bring this up solely because the other Doomers were giving me a hard time at 24-Hour Comics for putting five splash pages into my 24-page comic. That’s practically the same ratio as this bona fide professional comic book. So nyah!

Worst Finale- DC Universe: Decisions #4

So the good guys catch Jericho, who was revealed in the last issue as the assassin. Then Superman gets preachy about how superheroes shouldn’t endorse candidates. Yawn.

So I guess my biggest beef with this mini-series isn’t the crappy final issue, but the crappy entire mini-series. DC sort of tricked me into buying a lame story by saying it was going to be a mini-series about how politics work in a world with superheroes. That sounded interesting. This was not.

And hey, isn’t Jericho supposed to be mute? So why was he talking in this issue?

Best Issue- Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns

This issue has four things going for it:

1) It had absolutely nothing to do with Final Crisis. Aside from this taking place specifically between issues #1 and #2 of Final Crisis and an off-hand remark about deicide, Final Crisis isn’t mentioned or involved in the story in any way.

2) Geoff Johns wrote it. Geoff Johns is awesome.

3) It’s part of the Darkest Night storyline. The Darkest Night storyline is awesome.

4) Blue Lantern!

The only bad thing is this should have just been the next issue of Green Lantern. I would have paid the same if it had just been Green Lantern though, so I guess that’s not much of a drawback.