Meaningless Fights of the Week- 11/26/08

Best Fight- Allen the Alien and Omni-Man escape from space prison, Invincible #55

While Invincible and Atom Eve have sex, readers are treated to a harrowing tale of Allen the Alien and Omni-Man escaping from the Viltrumite prison they’ve been trapped in together. Allen’s so strong he could have broken out whenever he wanted to, but he waited until all but two Viltrumites had left the facility so he’s be able to take Omni-Man with him. In the process of breaking out, Allen releases Battle Beast, whose only goal in life is to find the toughest fight he can and throw himself into it. Allen punches a hole in the prison’s hull and we’ve got a nice fight in outer space featuring Omni-Man, Allen and Battle Beast taking on two Viltrumites. In the grand tradition of Invincible fights, this thing is about as bloody and violent as you could possibly imagine.

At the end, Omni-Man drops a bombshell that changes things quite a bit. This whole time there’s been the imminent threat that the Viltrumite empire will show up on Earth and no one will be able to stop them, but Omni-Man tells Allen that the “empire” has been whittled down to les than 50 pure-blood Viltrumites in the entire universe. With Omni-Man, Allen, Battle Beast, Invincible and Kid Omni-Man, that might just be doable.

Most Realistic Ending- The Joker vs. Oracle, Birds of Prey # 124

This week’s issue of BoP featured the fight that should have happened last week, the Clown Prince of Crime versus the former Batgirl. Oracle gets in a couple really good blows, including breaking the Joker’s gun and shattering the teeth that make up his precious smile, but in the end it comes down to this: Oracle is a woman in a wheelchair, and the Joker is a homicidal madman. Once Babs is out of her wheelchair she’s pretty much defenseless, and all it takes is a well-placed ball of roots to the side of the head and a kick down the stairs for the Joker to come out on top. Luckily Misfit teleports back in time to stop the Joker from finishing the deed, leaving Oracle to fight another day.

Best Interspecies Fight- She-Hulk vs. Ursa Major, She-Hulk #35

She-Hulk vs. a bear. Okay, so technically Ursa Major is just a mutant who can shape shift into a bear, but still, it’s She-Hulk fighting a frakking bear. Looks like Peter David might finally be injecting a little more humor into what used to be a pretty straight comedy book before he took over.

On a related note, why in the hell was Ursa Major chosen as one of the 198 mutants to survive M-Day with his powers intact? Magneto’s loses his powers but the guy who can turn into a bear gets to keep his?

Weirdest Fight- the Runaways vs. a bubble, Runaways #4

I’m still not sure how I feel about Terry Moore’s tenure on Runaways so far. I think my major hang-up is Humberto Ramos’ art, which doesn’t seem like a good fit at all for the title. And then there’s things like the team getting trapped in a giant bubble that sucks you inside of itself when you punch it. I think jumping right into a big fight with a group of Majesdians at the start of Moore’s run was a bad idea. A bit too much seems to be going on right now in the title. There’s a new character to deal with, a new secret HQ to deal with, and Chase’s new job to deal with. All this action seems a little out of place in a book that by name should be more about running than fighting.

Best Fight on Top of a Moving Vehicle- Cap vs. Batroc the Leaper, Captain America # 44

Luke Ross is doing a great job filling in for Steve Epting. I’m not sure if Epting is off the title (which I hope isn’t the case) or if Ross is going to be the new rotating artist (a role previously filled by DD’s Michael Lark), but he’s a great fit for Captain America. It makes you wonder why Marvel can match artists so well on this book and then they put Greg Land and Terry Dodson, two guys on opposite ends of the spectrum, on Uncanny X-Men.