The Clone Saga, Version 2.0: Nobody Actually Asked for This, Did They?

spiderman clone sagaIf I were to ask you what the absolute worst comic book “events” of the 1990s were, I’m guessing that the Spider-Man Clone Saga would probably end up somewhere between that Onslaught mess and Heroes Reborn.

According to Marvel, it’s the, “most controversial event of all time. . .” and later this year, it “. . .returns with a vengeance, presenting the Clone Saga as it was originally intended to be told!” At another point in their press release, you can find this quote: “The Story: You’ve been asking for it…and now it’s here: THE CLONE SAGA!!!”

Oddly out-of-place enthusiasm aside, I have a simple question. You say that people have been asking for it, so my question is simply, “Who?” That thing was a mess the first time; who the hell wants to see it come back?

In an age where every failed movie franchise or crappy 70’s TV show is getting a reboot and a multi-million dollar budget, from Starsky & Hutch to Robocop, I always hoped that comic books wouldn’t ever stoop to the same level. It’s different to have a new launch for a series, giving it a new first issue and having a different creative team attached to it, but straight-up retelling old story-arcs (that are still within continuity) seems very strange. Ten years from now, is DC going to release the REAL Final Crisis, the way it was originally meant to be told? God, let’s all hope not.

I mean, think about it. Here’s a brief synopsis of the original Clone Saga, as written by our very own Doominator a few months ago:

Peter’s creepy genetics professor made a clone of him that both thought were dead in 1974, but then they weren’t dead and instead there were more clones, enough clones that there had to be a whole fucking saga that made no sense as Spider-Cide, Kaine, Ben Reilly / Scarlet Spider, the really stupid looking one that dressed as the Jackyl and Peter had a bunch of intertwining shit because Kaine killed someone and they thought it was Peter and blah blah blah other confusion happened and it got so convolotued to the point where Peter thought he was the clone and quit being Spider-Man but it ended up he was the real Peter when Norman Osborne came back and killed Ben Reilly, who then turned to pixie dust, proving he was the clone.

What idiot sat back in his chair during a creative session and decided that it would be a good idea to revisit this mess? Seems to me like the House of Ideas is foreclosing.