Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer contest!

So with Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer author Van Jensen being a friend and former poster of this fine blog, he asked us to pass this along. Participate!

Hyphothetical question time. What if you were a magically sentient wooden puppet? And what if whenever you told a lie, your magically sentient wooden nose would grow suddenly? And what if you suddenly were confronted by a gang of bloodsucking vampires, and you needed to snap off a shank of magically sentient wooden nose to kill the undead? Hypothetically speaking, what lie would you tell?

If you can come up with a funny, creative lie, you could win some serious swag from the upcoming Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer graphic novel. The book, created by Dustin Higgins and Van Jensen, will be released by SLG Publishing on Sept. 30. All you have to do is post your best lie at the Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer Facebook group or send one by e-mail to All entries must be received by Sept. 23.

The best lie, as chosen by Dustin and Van, will receive a signed copy of the book and a page of Dustin’s original artwork. Two runners up will both receive signed copies of the book.

Mark Twain may have said “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes,” but it can also help rid the world of vampires. So get creative! Get hypothetical! Get lying!

Disclaimer: The creators of Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer are not liable if a submitted lie appears in the current or any future Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer book. Dozens of lies appear in the book, and any submitted lie matching one in the book is purely coincidental.

And if you’re curious what the hell this book is, you can check out my passive-aggressive interview with Van here.