Michael Turner + Fantastic Four = True Love

I was cleaning out my office this morning and noticed that I hadn’t looked through the November issue of Previews yet. While scanning through Marvel Previews and saw the cover to Fantastic Four #553.

Michael Turner bashing has almost gotten to the point where it’s too easy. The guy doesn’t even seem to be trying anymore, and maybe because he’s in kind of a George W Bush situation – the people who still like his work are going to like him no matter what, and he’s alienated everyone else. He can’t draw ankles, wrists, females, males, varying faces, objects in perspective, anatomy… – okay, we get it.

I’m as guilty as anyone for piling on, so I’m going to offer up something positive – a constructive suggestion for the Perfect Fit for Michael Turner. As if it’s not obvious already, that perfect fit is Fantastic Four.

Click on the image to determine who’s sloppier – Michael Turner or Marvel…

Virtually everything in his vast list of artistic weaknesses is rendered irrelevant by the super family! Mr Fantastic should have unrealistic anatomy; his ability to deform at will makes him impervious to the visual limitations imposed by perspective! His wrists and ankles can look however Turner wants them to!

The Thing is in a similar boat – he’s not supposed to look like a guy. As long as Turner can draw a rock with three fingers and a thumb – which he can – they’re set! His ankles and wrists are like tree trunks – no sense of “body parts attached at joints” is necessary! He doesn’t even need a neck! And the fact that he has rocky lines all over his face hides the fact that his underlying facial structure looks like every other male that Turner draws. Beautifully convenient!

Johnny Storm and the Invisible Woman are similar cases – with swirling flames and powers of invisibility, respectively, Turner can simply obscure or erase whatever he doesn’t want to draw!

It’s a match made in Heaven, and it’s a match I was only able to conceive thanks to that Fantastic Four #553 cover. Now go do what you’ve got to do, Marvel – you’re so close already.