Happy Independence Day!

There may not be too much to be proud of these days for us Americans, but, for one day, we can put all of that behind us and celebrate the birth of our nation by spending a lot of money, getting really smashed, and blowing up some loud shit. There aren’t any new comic books today, so you have no excuse to stay at home and sulk like a nerd. Man up and show the world your giant American balls by lighting an M80 in the palm of your hand before tossing it at a friend. I expect nothing less of you.

So, to hell with President Bush and every last knucklehead in a position of power that has done absolutely nothing for us for the past four years, but God Bless America. Happy Fourth, folks.