Worst to First: 3/7/07

I don’t want to disappoint any readers, so I’ll say up front that yes, I did buy Captain America #25 (the title’s on my pull list) and yes, I did read it and yes, I do have plenty of thoughts. But I’m saving that for Saturday’s Book of Doom. All you’re getting from me today are reviews of books that didn’t feature the death of one of the five most famous comic book characters of all time. At least, unless you count all the heroes becoming zombies in Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness. And, on that note, let’s get to the reviews…

Seven: Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #1

When this project was announced, Fin Fang Doom and I voiced our excitement. I went so far as to say, “Finally, a Marvel project I can unequivocally support.” First, let me say that this issue’s cover is great (if only the editors new how to spell “filet”), as were all the classic covers turned zombified of the original Marvel Zombies series. Unfortunately, that’s the only good thing this issue has in common with Robert Kirkman’s excelent mini from last year.

This new series takes all the gross charm of the original and punts it out the window. Gone is any semblance of a story, instead we just get Ash inserted into this universe as the zombies are taking hold. And all Ash does, as written by John Layman, is deliver one-liners that fall flat. Maybe it’s poorly written, or maybe the character just doesn’t work without the immeasurable charm of Bruce Campbell. I’ll say it’s a mix of the two. Also, artist Fabiano Neves makes things worse by sticking in as many close-ups of Ash mugging for the readers as possible. The lifted-from-a-photo aspect puts all those moments in stark contrast to the book. Just a herky jerky ride, and I’m jumping off board already.

Six: Justice League of America #6

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m ready to drop this book. It’s not bad, but it’s not nearly as good as it could be. The inclusion of so many characters has been pointed to as a problem, but I’m not sure that’s it. What really bothers me is the scattered narrative. Meltzer tried to focus things around Red Tornado, but there are so many digressions that, for most of the arc, went in so many different directions, and the end result is that the point of the story is blurred.

Particularly in this issue, the dual narratives between Tornado and Green Arrow Jr. don’t lead to a greater whole, instead lessening the impact of both. Also, why was Grundy so set on killing Tornado? Why didn’t he die, if he was human? And what the hell was the point of this arc, when all it really did was explode Tornado and put him together again for the 8 millionth time?

Five: Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters #8

The finale of this series comes after the penultimate issue dropped a serious turd in what had been a pretty fun mini. Things pick back up some, but not enough to save the ship. I like the art, I like the characters, I just think writers Gray and Palmiotti strained too hard. The political commentary was maybe even more ridiculously over-the-top than Howard Chaykin’s Challengers of the Unknown from a couple years back. And Father Time is about the 8 millionth secret government villain/hero to use “the end justifies the means” as motivation. Really, can’t we just ban that archetype for awhile? Would anyone mind?

Four: Bullet Points #5

Another mini with a promising start and a turd of a penultimate issue ended this week, this one the Marvel hero switcheroo tale of what if the super serum never made it to Steve Rogers (he would’ve died. But he’s dead now. So, not much changes). Galactus and Silver Surfer come calling in this alterna-verse, and it’s up to Reed Richards, head of SHIELD to save the day. But, where Uncle Sam became too wrapped up in the periphery issues, J. Michael Straczynski focuses on the central plot here (a battle to save humanity), and delivers an effective and touching story of sacrifice.

This is a mini that, if you missed the issues, the trade will be worth your time, if for no other reason than to admire Tommy Edwards’ excellent art.

Three: Uncanny X-Men #484

In a lesser week, this may have taken top billing. Ed Brubaker weaves two love stories, a solid couple dozen characters, personal rivalries, Shi’ar history and a couple good laughs into a space adventure with all the prerequisite action. The Vulcan-focused issues still don’t do much for me, but ones like this are top form. And Billy Tan’s art is good this issue aside from a couple of faces that are over-inked within an inch of their lives. For a second, I thought we’d returned to the days of Jim Lee cross-hatching Xavier’s bald dome.

Two: 52 #44

In the Black Marvel side of the story, the writers have crafted a true epic tragedy.

One: Criminal #5

This whole series sets up Leo as a coward, a hit-and-run thief looking to save his own neck at all costs. And, with this issue, Brubaker pulls the strings to show how he’s set us up, delivering a classic line, served with a bullet in the head: “That’s what I’ve always been afraid of, you stupid piece of shit… of what’s inside me.” From there it’s a rush to the conclusion, a bloody, mean, dirty jaunt that holds up to any of the great noir films mentioned in the worth-reading letters pages.

Any aspiring writer needs to pay attention especially to this book’s last pages. Brubaker builds things up to one last outburst, then with the very last page he sings us gently down, using pacing to shift lower and lower. It’s poetry.