I don’t know why, but I feel like doing a quick run-through of this month’s previews and giving my shoot-from-the-hip thoughts. As always, I reserve the chance to regret my actions later. And, I make no promises for this becoming a continuing feature. We’ll see. The numbers at the start of each section are the pages.
2-62: Ads and toys and other crap I don’t care about, except another issue of Hellboy is finally coming. Right? It’s on the way, isn’t it? Well, at least we got the cartoon.
63-65: Detective not written by Dini and Morrison showing us a future vision of Damien Wayne as Batman (it’s for issue 666, get it?), and I’m starting to think that DC wants me to never read Batman books again.
66: OMFG!!! ASSBAR!!! Frank Miller does exist!!!
67: For anyone who missed Catwoman: When in Rome, the TP is finally coming out. It was a good series. Not quite up to Loeb and Sale’s previous Batman work, but still good.
69: Action Comics features a two-part whammy about the stunning disappearance of Richard Donner and Geoff Johns. Only Superman can save them!
70-71: Why doesn’t DC just have Michael Turner and Frank Miller combine on a series called Power Girl and Supergirl: T&A?
73: Oh, wait, DC proves that female characters are multi-faceted. In Amazons Attack they try to conquer the world.
74-75: And yet, somehow I’m still almost more intrigued about that event than I am about Countdown. Call it mega-event burnout.
80: The JLA cover is courtesy of Michael Turner and features Hawkman and Red Arrow, or whatever he’s called. Arsenal? Anyway, his belt now has an “R,” not a “G,” as Turner previously drew it. Just thought you should know.
88: Consider me excited for author Jodi Picoult’s run on Wonder Woman. I haven’t read any of her books, but my wife says she’s good. And, well, I listen to my wife.
102-105: Looking at the preview for Wildstorm’s Supernatural: Origins, I had only one thought: Do artists Matthew Dow Smith and Phil Hester have to pay Mike Mignola for completely ripping his style? Just wondering.
112-121: Most everything from Vertigo, on the other hand, looks pretty sweet. An original noir graphic novel from David Lapham (Silverfish) tops the list.
138-164: Then there’s Image, which sports an awful lot of books that I can easily avoid (why don’t they promote Rocketo more?). Nothing here excites me except maybe Dynamo 5 and definitely Madman #2.
172: Paul Dini’s Madame Mirage somehow doesn’t come with an alternate cover by boobmaster Michael Turner. Which means I’ll be able to give the series a chance.
The rest of the book: meh.
The teaser for WWHulk looks like Hulk is terrified. Um, no.
7: I liked the idea of Marvel Illustrated back when it was called Classics Illustrated, or, more recently, Graphic Classics.
10: Hmm, Silver Surfer shows up in Ultimate Fantastic Four? Who could’ve seen that coming?
16: What could belay the dramatic impact of showing Spider-Man wearing the black costume? Uh, how about having him lie seductively amid bowling pins? Guess I’ll skip Friendly Neighborhood etc. #20.
24: Wow, Reggie Hudlin is so creative! He has the new Fantastic Four (starring Black Panther and wife, of course) go to a strange dimension where Marvel’s characters are zombies! How does he come up with such innovative ideas?
45: The blurb for Mighty Avengers #3 boasts, “Tigra guest stars. Yes, Tigra. Frank Cho drawing Tigra!” Really, you do have to admire Tigra. Here, she has this terrible disfigurement, and she puts her nose to the grindstone and pushes on to a normal existence… by doing things like cutting a hole in her skimpy black panties to stick her tail through…
54: You know what character I do enjoy? U.S. Agent. You know who else kicks ass? Beta Ray Bill. Yep, that’s enough for me to buy an issue of Alpha Flight.
64: The countdown to Colossus’ second death begins. *angry fist shake*
70-71: Not to let Marvel’s treatment of Batman go without equal, Marvel is dropping a big deuce on everything Wolverine. In Wolverine #54, Logan’s entering “round five” of his fight with Sabretooth. Maybe by then Loeb will find a point among all the claws… And in Origins, Daniel Way continues to suck hard by bringing in “Wolverine’s son.” You know what’s cool? The son has a claw that comes from the bottom of his forearm. Isn’t that awesome? And by awesome, I mean idiotic.
And that’s all that interests me, folks. See you next month. Maybe.