Spoilers Spoil Everything

marley & me spoilerI hate spoilers.

They’ve gotten progressively worse over the years, as people try harder and harder to be the first to get the scoops on all the latest movies, comics, TV shows, whatever, and I just don’t get the appeal.

It’s gotten so bad that discussions of spoilers of major plot points now come up months before the thing that’s being spoiled is even ready for mass consumption.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to some friends online about a recent blockbuster movie, and one of them mentioned a MAJOR plot detail, one that only appears after the credits roll, only to follow it with a non-ironic spoiler alert for what she wanted to talk about next. She’d grown so numb to spoilers that she didn’t even realize she WAS spoiling something for those of us who hadn’t seen it yet, as that post-credit detail was leaked online about six months ago.

To be fair, we’ve been guilty of spoilers here on Doomkopf from time to time, but we’re not alone. And the spoilers aren’t debuting on our blog, by any means, but I still find their presence here annoying.

I appreciate the irony of what I’m about to say, but, just as a fair warning, some of the things I discuss through the rest of this blog will contain spoilers for certain things, but only for stuff that’s already been released. Don’t worry, I’m not going to give anything away if you haven’t at least had the chance to see it yet (and, bear in mind, I live in a country where everything is released about a month later than in the States, so I’m way behind, anyway).

But this issue of spoilers once again came to the forefront of my mind this past week when I was reading through my latest comics, as the finale to Age of Ultron hit stands, and I was able to get my hands on it. Say what you will about the series; it’s not perfect, by any stretch, but it ends with a whole slew of surprises.

The last one in the issue, the big final reveal, regardless of its merits as a worthwhile plot development, was discussed on our blog, and many other blogs besides, back in March.

I don’t mean to pick on Fin Fang Doom, but he was ragging on bringing Angela into the Marvel Universe back when Jim Doom was just finishing up Age of Ultron #1 and cracking wise about the ridiculousness of it having an embossed cover.

Think about how stupid that is (not the embossed cover part – – that’s unquestionably really stupid), that people were discussing spoilers, spoilers that appear on the final page of the final issue of the ten-issue miniseries, back when it had only JUST started.

And why? Why ruin all the fun? What’s the appeal there? Imagine how frustrating that would be if you were Brian Michael Bendis, the guy who wrote Age of Ultron, and the big surprise you wrote for the final page of your miniseries is somehow leaked to the Internet before you’ve even had a chance to START telling the story that leads us to that reveal.

I mean, it’s one thing for people to criticize a decision like that after they’ve read the story, but just ridiculing it before giving it a shot is, well, it’s what, annoying? Pathetic? Pointless? Fill in the blanks with however harsh you want to be.

This phenomenon is everywhere, too. Look at Furious 6. No, seriously, go look at it; it’s amazing. If you haven’t seen it yet, you should see it.

But, way back during the Super Bowl, Universal Studios decided that the best way to hype the movie was with a 30 second TV spot featuring a shot of a car bringing down an airplane by exploding through its nose in a blaze of awesomeness that could only actually make sense in a Fast and Furious movie.

fast and furious 6 exploding airplane car

Seriously, that happens in the movie.

But, the thing is, I went to the movie a month ago or so (I’m not even kidding when I say that it’s simultaneously the greatest and worst movie ever created by human beings), and as I sat in the theatre, waiting for that big, badass shot pictured above, it got closer and closer to the film’s close, and it still hadn’t happened.

That’s because that awesome shot, the one that the marketing department for Universal Studios saw fit to include in the first TV spot for the movie during the SUPER BOWL, doesn’t actually happen until the final moment of the last action sequence of the climax of the movie.

It’s seriously great, yes, but it was completely spoiled by the trailer. I’ve already explained that I don’t understand FANS who give away spoilers, but what can I say about the company that’s supposed to be selling the product? Why would THEY give away spoilers?

Especially with the Fast and Furious franchise. If you haven’t sold people with the first FIVE movies of the series, just a hunch, but I’m guessing a flaming car exploding from the nose of an airplane probably isn’t going to do much to sway those new viewers.

So, that’s all I really have to say. I avoid spoilers these days pretty easily, and I don’t watch trailers anymore, because I’m tired of overzealous marketing departments ruining perfectly good movies for me.

What do you guys think? Why do people feel the compulsion to spoil things so frequently? What’s the appeal?

Sound off in the comments.