Podcast of Doom (transcript):
The New 52: One Year Later (part one)


[SFX: Intro music]

DOOM DeLUISE: Ok, I’m back. Are you back?

Are we back?

JIM DOOM: We’re back!

DOOM DeLUISE: Yes!

JIM DOOM: Okay everybody, welcome back to another edition of the Podcast of Doom, Doomkopf.com’s podcast.

DOOM DeLUISE: Of doom.

JIM DOOM: Yes, of doom.

So next month is DC’s big “#0″ month, which is supposed to be the one-year anniversary of the New 52.

Well, it’s not supposed to be. It is.

I know I set about trying to give a lot of books a chance, using the whole relaunch as an opportunity to expose myself to new things I wasn’t normally reading. To an extent, that has worked. I also, as one might expect, picked up a lot of stuff I didn’t care for.

So let’s just go through this retrospective week-by-week, shall we?

DOOM DeLUISE: Week-by-week or issue-by-issue?

Or, should I say, series-by-series

JIM DOOM: Well, I was thinking we’d go through series by series, but organized by the week waves. So the first one to come out was Justice League. First question: Did you buy Justice League #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yes, I sure did! I still buy Justice League!

JIM DOOM: I didn’t ask that yet!

DOOM DeLUISE: Nards!

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: But since you answered — same here. I bought #1 and I’m still buying that series. So looking back at the past year — what do you think?

DOOM DeLUISE: I really enjoyed the newness of it. I had given up on reading Justice League prior to the relaunch, and this is a pretty solid JLA outing, so I’m glad it’s back in the pile of stuff I buy but rarely read.

I am also totally into the Billy Batson story that they’ve been tacking on to the last few issues.

Black Adam! So cool!

[audience cheers]

You?

JIM DOOM: I don’t know. I still buy it and I actually read it, which is more uncommon than I’d like to admit, but I don’t necessarily get much satisfaction from it. I think I stick with it because I figure it’s likely to be some kind of New DC backbone series.

I thought the initial storyline with Darkseid was pretty lousy. Nothing really happened. Most of the movement and consequence in this series so far has been the tangential characters like Wonder Woman’s government boyfriend or the Justice League’s biographer. And I don’t care about those people.

DOOM DeLUISE: The fact that we don’t know their names … Steve? Maybe? … is kind of telling.

JIM DOOM: It’s also weird how differently Geoff Johns writes Hal Jordan based on whether it’s in Justice League or in Green Lantern. We’re now at a point where both series are happening relatively concurrently, right?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yes.

JIM DOOM: The JLA Hal Jordan is basically a super-powerful buffoon.

DOOM DeLUISE: Yeah, I don’t get that. How can the same guy write the same character in two totally different ways on a monthly basis? Doesn’t make sense.

JIM DOOM: But getting back to what you were talking about, I too am liking the Shazam backup story. I think I’d rather just read that instead of the stuff that precedes it.

DOOM DeLUISE: I think I did that with the last issue. I read the backup story first. A few days later, I read the proper story.

JIM DOOM: Actually the second JLA arc, with whatever this new villain is called, totally made me think “Ahh yes, THIS is why I always ended up dropping previous versions of this series — because inevitably the JLA starts fighting really lame villains.” Remember right before Infinite Crisis when they fought some other really lame guy?

DOOM DeLUISE: Haha, I forget who the villain even is. Not just his name. I mean, I don’t remember anything about him.

JIM DOOM: I think he has claws and I think he wears a robe.

He might have a shiny face.

DOOM DeLUISE: Sounds plausible!

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: He used to have to use a wheelchair.

DOOM DeLUISE: Is he the biographer? I thought there was something about that in one of the issues.

JIM DOOM: I think so!

DOOM DeLUISE: Either that or he killed the biographer.

JIM DOOM: Like he wrote a book about the JLA, and then his family died, so then he killed his nurse and then he became a bad guy.

I think that’s his origin.

DOOM DeLUISE: Yeah! I think so too.

We could be way way off, but I really don’t know.

JIM DOOM: I hope we still have listeners so that they are yelling at their computers right now.

I like imagining the meeting. Geoff Johns is like “So I have this idea for a villain. He writes a book. Then his family dies. Then he kills his nurse. Then he becomes a bad guy!”

DOOM DeLUISE: “What are his powers?”

“He’s a BAD GUY”

JIM DOOM: “He has a shiny face!”

DOOM DeLUISE: “He might have gloves!”

JIM DOOM: “He’s wearing a robe because he used to ride in a wheelchair!”

DOOM DeLUISE: “DUH”

[audience laughter]

I think I’m going to stop reading Justice League.

JIM DOOM: Well I feel like we’ve done a good job of covering the past year of Justice League. Let’s move on to the next week of releases.

Action Comics. Did you buy #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yep! And I might still buy it, but you haven’t asked that yet!

JIM DOOM: Do you still buy it?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yep! And I like it! I think there was an issue with a black Superman, and there was maybe an issue or two that I forgot to read, but I like it, from what I have read.

When Grant Morrison doesn’t have to write with the shackles of somebody else’s continuity, he’s quite entertaining.

Did you buy #1? Do you still buy it? Do you like it?

JIM DOOM: I bought #1 and all of the other ones too! I’ve enjoyed this series.

Am I remembering right, that Ma and Pa Kent are already dead in this timeline?

DOOM DeLUISE: And so is Clark Kent!

The Kents are all dead!

[audience cheers]

JIM DOOM: Is this series still 5 years ago? I don’t remember.

DOOM DeLUISE: I think so. He’s still wearing his jeans and short cape. But, that being said, I don’t think I’ve read the last three or four issues that I’ve bought.

JIM DOOM: I don’t have a lot to add on this one other than it’s just a solid read and I look forward to it. I wish it weren’t $3.99 though.

Okay, so also out that first week – Detective. Did you buy #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: Nope. I seem to remember it was being written and drawn by Tony Daniel, so I passed. I still haven’t picked it up. Yourself?

JIM DOOM: I bought #1. I actually reviewed it. Here, I printed it out from the blog. [transcriber’s note: you can read the review here] It was when I was doing the Doomino Effect for the New 52.

It was absolutely terrible, even for Tony Daniel. I was considering buying #2 just to read more awfulness but then I thought about how stupid that was and I didn’t. I just seriously can’t believe this guy has a job writing comic books.

That was the issue where he reintroduced the Joker as a naked guy who gets his face cut off. Since, if there’s one thing the Joker doesn’t need, it’s his iconic face.

Screw this stupid book. What else came out that week.

Green Arrow. Did you buy #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: I was just re-reading that printout you handed me. Sorry for the silence. “Paid in tuna.” Ha ha ha. Anyway, no, Green Arrow is stupid.

JIM DOOM: I used to really like Green Arrow, but man, DC has done some major damage to that guy over the past few years. Didn’t they have him like move into a forest in the middle of the city or something? And now he has short hair and big Wolverine sideburns but no goatee? Like inverse facial hair.

Look at the issue #1 cover. Here, I printed it out for you. [transcriber’s note: you can view the cover here]

DOOM DeLUISE: Oh, so he’s Red Arrow aka Arsenal, only with green inking instead of red.

JIM DOOM: I bet that meeting was like “Hey, let’s destroy Green Arrow” and then the other guy at the meeting was like “Sure.”

DOOM DeLUISE: And then the first guy in the meeting was like, “I hope they don’t catch us in here. They’ll be super pissed to know we’re writing all their comics for the company now!”

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: DC has the worst meetings. No wonder this book is awful.

Ok, next.

Batgirl.

You reading that?

Any of it?

DOOM DeLUISE: I read the first issue. I don’t remember anything about it, other than the fact that Batgirl was in it. I gave up after that.

JIM DOOM: I’m not sure I knew Batgirl existed.

Next!

Animal Man. Did you buy #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yes!

JIM DOOM: Do you still buy it?

DOOM DeLUISE: Yes!

JIM DOOM: Oh nice. How is it?

DOOM DeLUISE: It was my favorite comic for a little while, but I haven’t read it in about six issues. I just keep buying it.

JIM DOOM: Because I’ll tell you — it too was my favorite comic for a while, but then I don’t remember what happened — I think I was really excited by the direction it was taking and then it went a direction I found less interesting — but I stopped buying it.

I really dug those first few issues though. If I go to some comic shop with a big back issue sale or something, I’d consider giving it another chance.

DOOM DeLUISE: Yeah, totally! But yeah, I don’t remember what happened that made me just stop reading it.

JIM DOOM: Do you know if it’s the same creative team?

DOOM DeLUISE: I do not. I haven’t been to a comic book website in about a year. I don’t read solicitations or anything anymore. I’ve been avoiding all the usual sites I used to visit, cuz I didn’t want any of the Dark Knight Rises spoiled for me. So I’m just way out of the loop.

JIM DOOM: I just wondered if you had noticed from the cover of the issues you were buying but not reading.

DOOM DeLUISE: Nope!

JIM DOOM: Ain’t no thang.

DOOM DeLUISE: I do know that I’ve bought multiple copies of several issues of Animal Man, cuz I forgot if I’d bought them already.

JIM DOOM: Ok, next! Justice League International!

DOOM DeLUISE: JLI! Yes! I bought the first few issues, stopped buying it, because it reintroduced OMAC, and then I think I maybe started buying it again, but I don’t read it anymore. I’m the worst comic book fan ever.

JIM DOOM: I didn’t take a chance on it because, while I liked the JLI, I felt like putting those characters together but giving them Dan Jurgens kind of missed the point of putting those characters together.

Swamp Thing is up next.

Did you buy #1?

DOOM DeLUISE: Nope. I didn’t even know Swamp Thing had a series.

JIM DOOM: Swamp Thing is one of those books where I’ve bought every issue and I think I only read the first two or three.

DOOM DeLUISE: We should name this podcast: “Hey, at least we BUY comic books”

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: I really liked it at first. It was one of the books that I was excited about, particularly because it was a shot in the dark that I took a chance on, knowing nothing about it. And it was good enough that I kept buying it because I had total faith that on that fateful day that I sat down and read a big stack of comics, I’d appreciate it. I haven’t organized my comics since approximately 1994, but I do have a nicely organized stack of Swamp Thing #1-11 on my end table, just waiting for me to read it.

So yeah, I highly recommend buying this comic.

I speak from experience.

I buy it every month.

DOOM DeLUISE: hahahahaha

JIM DOOM: Next on the list is Stormwatch.

DOOM DeLUISE: Next!

JIM DOOM: At first I got excited because I thought it said “Sandwich #1″ and I was like “oooh!” But then I realized it said “Stormwatch.”

DOOM DeLUISE: I would buy the #1 Sandwich

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: I might evenbuy the #2-#7 Sandwich.

[silence]

DOOM DeLUISE: There aren’t very many sandwiches I wouldn’t buy.

[audience cheers]

JIM DOOM: Lots of times I accidentally order the wrong sandwich at McDonald’s because I’m thinking “10 piece McNuggets” and so I say “I’ll have a #10,” but the 10-piece is #12. The #10 is like a grilled chicken sandwich or something.

I would eat probably any number sandwich if the number was just referring to a sequence and not a ranking.

Well, I need to take that back. I’d eat the 8th best sandwich if it was like #8 out of 100.

DOOM DeLUISE: Oh, want to hear a funny aside about McDonalds?

JIM DOOM: I’m not sure we have time to get off topic, but if you promise it’s funny, go ahead.

DOOM DeLUISE: In Ukraine, they brought in the McDonald’s drive-thru several years ago, and, after a few months, McDonald’s rebranded it and started advertising it as “McDrive,” so everybody calls it McDrive.

The reason for this is because, in Ukrainian, they don’t have a “th” sound. So everybody pronounced it, “McDonald’s Drive-Sru,” since that’s as close as they could get to a “th” sound.

But “sru” in Ukrainian means “to take a [expletive].”

JIM DOOM: I drive sru a lot.

DOOM DeLUISE: Let’s ditch your list and just talk about stuff we actually read.

Batman!

[audience cheers]

JIM DOOM: NO WAIT!

[audience boos]

We’ll do it more rapid-fire. OMAC. Terrible!

DOOM DeLUISE: No!

JIM DOOM: Are you saying no to the rapid-fire format or no to OMAC?

DOOM DeLUISE: No to OMAC! Yes to rapid-fire format!

JIM DOOM: I am totally derailing the rapid fire format by way of comprehension errors! Batwing!

DOOM DeLUISE: No!

JIM DOOM: I bought the first few issues of it but dropped it!

DOOM DeLUISE: Is it about Batman’s airplane?

JIM DOOM: I think so, but the airplane barely made any appearances and instead they kept focusing on people!

Men of War!

DOOM DeLUISE: LAME!

No to Men of War! I didn’t even know that was a thing that existed!

JIM DOOM: I honestly don’t remember this existing either. Maybe they forgot to release it.

Static Shock!

What the hell..? Static Shock?

DOOM DeLUISE: Now you’re just making things up.

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: Now I think this list is just messing with us. This isn’t real.

DOOM DeLUISE: Is this real life?

[audience laughter]

JIM DOOM: Look at this cover. I printed it out for you. Have you ever seen this at a comic book store? [transcriber’s note: you can view the cover here]

Is this like Lil’ Black Lightning?

DOOM DeLUISE: You know, for kids!

JIM DOOM: Weird. I wonder if that got canceled. Like before issue #1.

Hawk and Dove!

DOOM DeLUISE: Wasn’t that by Rob Liefeld?

JIM DOOM: I thought so but didn’t he die? Oh no, I’m thinking of Michael Turner.

DOOM DeLUISE: I don’t know why I asked that question. I don’t read it, don’t care about it, don’t care if he died.

JIM DOOM: He died, right?

DOOM DeLUISE: Michael Turner did, yeah. RIP.

JIM DOOM: Hawk and Dove are stupid. Hawk and Dove is stupid.

This concludes part one of the transcript of the New 52: One Year Later edition of the Podcast of Doom. Click here for part two!