Batman Returns. Again.

If you didn’t read USA Today this morning, I don’t blame you, but you missed out on some interesting (see: not interesting) news.

Bruce Wayne is coming back! Kind of.

In the “Who Didn’t See This Coming?” department, I’d say this ranks right up there with Hulk Hogan coming out of retirement as soon as his bank account dipped below twenty bucks.

Here’s some info on the Return of Bruce Wayne series, set to hit shelves in a six-issue miniseries starting in April (written by Grant Morrison with each issue featuring a new artist), according to Newsarama:

[Morrison] also revealed some of the settings of the series, including the Late-Paleolithic Era (Caveman/Viking Batman), a Pilgrim-era Gotham (Witch-hunter Batman), a Pirate Batman, a “western” style Gotham with Cowboy Batman, and a Noir Private Investigator Batman. Morrison, agian to USAToday.com, calls this story ” Bruce Wayne’s ultimate challenge — Batman vs. history itself!”

That sounds perfect for Grant Morrison. That guy sure loves his freaked-out gobbledygook!

Now I just wonder what they’re going to do with the new Batman, Dick Grayson. Here’s hoping he commits self-kill out of shame, so that his name doesn’t get dragged through any more of this shit.