Trinity #30

30Hey, remember when Doom DeLuise stopped caring about Countdown? The series created a whole new level of suck at one point and Del just couldn’t bring himself to review the thing on a weekly basis. Well, I’ve offcially gotten to that point. This issue of Trinity is from last Wednesday’s comics, which I guess is obvious since this Wednesday’s comics won’t come out until this Friday. And as a strange coincidence, it happens to be the same issue number that it was for Countdown, #30. Granted, Countdown was counting the other way, but that’s weird, right?

So what happened this issue that sucked so much? In the lead, Alfred’s Six learn the story of how the purple alien world came to be. Turns out they live in the cosmic egg, and Krona was their god until he escaped. Then the Trinity became their new gods and things got better. In the back-up, Morgaine Le Fey forms her bad guy team while Hawkman forms his good guy team, using certain villains/heroes to fit certain roles in the major arcana that’s on tarot cards.

Okay, so the back-up wasn’t terrible, but the lead was just boring as hell. That’s the sort of thing that should be the back-up story: something that isn’t essentially to the plot but fills in some gaps. Does it matter that the Trinity is the Holy Trinity inside of the cosmic egg? Not really. What matters is that Alfred has to find a way to bring the Trinity back, and this trip inside of the egg is the way to do it.

This really should have started a long time ago, though. As soon as Alfred met Tarot, they should have started the sub-plot with Alfred recruiting people close to the Trinity. Then they could have switched back to Alfred every few issues to see how his story has progressed, instead of getting the whole story in one chunk at the end (I swear it seems like it’s been longer than three issues of this crap).

I think I’m just getting fed up with Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman not being in the story. It’s been thirteen issues, THREE FRAKKING MONTHS, since the those three have been in action. Now maybe that wouldn’t be a problem if this comic was called “Hawkman and Tarot Fight a Bunch of Bad Guys You Don’t Care About” instead of “Trinity.” Of course, no one would buy H&TFABOBGYDCA, and for good reason. It’s boring as frak.

I used to really like Trinity. Go back and read some of the early reviews if you don’t believe me. I was practically blowing a fanboy spooge all over the blog. This current arc probably wouldn’t even be that bad if it wasn’t taking forever to finish.

Issue #32, page 14, two-thirds of the way down the page. Based on that DC Nation page from a while back (THREE MONTHS!), that’s when this current garbage should end. I want some Trinity back in my Trinity…is that too much to ask?