Countdown to Final Crisis: Eight

countdown 8Well, would ya look at that cover? Is this the first Countdown appearance for Blue Beetle, Doctor Fate, Hal Jordan, Hawkman, and the Flash? Why, yes. Yes, it is. What an odd time to introduce them. Oh, wait, silly me; they’re not actually in this issue. They’re just on the cover. I’m getting ahead of myself.

In thinking of how to approach writing this blog entry, I started to feel bad about how negative my blogs about Countdown have become lately, so I decided to start this week off by pointing out at least one good thing about this issue. So, here goes nothing: They finally explain why Captain Atom went from being a hero at the end of the Captain Atom: Armageddon mini-series to the tyrant Monarch (aside from the fact that he was put in the armor at the end of Battle for Bludhaven). Aren’t you just dying to know what the answer is? Solomon the Monitor did it off-panel.


Let’s move on. What happens this week? I need a beer.

Ok, starting over. What happens this week? The heroes argue. That’s pretty much it. Karate Kid’s infected, obviously, and Una wants to take him home, but Ray Palmer thinks that’s a bad idea, since it would unleash the Great Disaster. Seriously, she should just listen to that ominous name and realize that can’t be a good thing.

Also, Jimmy Olsen has arrived with the Biker Mice from Mars (only, instead of mice, they’re hippies, and instead of Mars, they’re from somewhere else), and he wants to confront Darkseid, but Donna Troy thinks that’s a bad idea.

Eventually, Solomon the Monitor gets sick of all this shit (like me!) and zaps the whole gang off Apokolips, back to Earth. Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O’s! Ok, actually, now that they’re back on Earth, the Great Disaster is going to hit, and it’s at that point that it will no longer make sense as to why they’ve stopped tying all of the other DC books in with Countdown. We’re facing one big clusterfuck over the next couple of months, I have a feeling.

That’s all that happens. I’m sick of wasting my time on this crap. Thankfully, it’s almost over.

Oh, and one last thing. Now that the cosmic chess game between Darkseid and Solomon is over, are they at least going to answer the question of what they were even playing for? Seems a lot was at stake for it to just be a game for kicks.