Ultimates 3 #1
I don’t think we’ve discussed Ultimates 3 yet. Why not? Well, probably because it lives up to the Bizarro hype. It’s a cornucopia of flash, angst and poorly written dialogue from a writer who should know better (Jeph Loeb), and an artist (Joe Madureira) whose relevance will only last as long as he can keep up with the schedule – meaning we should see roughly two issues of this book in 2008.
We’re reintroduced to the Ultimates with a wonderful opening scene of the team watching a pirated DVD of Tony Stark sticking it to Black Widow … and I’m not talking about the death scene from Ultimates 3. This sextravaganza is introduced as a “security breach” for the team, moments before Venom pops in demanding a HER of some type. A bunch of dialogue follows which explains the fight step-by-step, all in a vain effort to introduce the team.
The next thing we know, all is well, except Hawkeye is talking like a sociopath, Captain America is acting like Wolverine, Hank Pym is passing out like he was Doom DeLuise and the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are looking good and ready to make a baby. But fuckles! (spooooooooooooiler alert) ********While the two are ice skating, somebody shoots the Scarlet Witch and she dies. We’re led to believe it’s Hawkeye.********** (end spoiler)
We’re introduced to an Ultimates that feels the need to explain step-by-step what’s going on, something previous volumes did with visuals. While the situations are meant to bring in gritty realism, they come off instead as cheap ploys. This is the Ultimates catching up to Gen X, harkening back to an era where Image reigned – and the use of Venom as the first villain only drives in the amateurish feel of the book. Also, the ridiculous boobportions Madureira is famous for are popping up nearly everywhere – I even had to double check to see if I spied a nip slip. I have a bad enough taste in my mouth to not want to pick up the book again, which is sad, because outside of Optic Nerve and Astonishing X-Men, I haven’t picked up much.
Wawit, we were led to believe Hawkeye killed SW? I totally missed that.
Also, Hawkeye acting crazy sort of makes sense considering his family was murdered and he was tortured a lot.
The rest wasn’t very good, though. I don’t really care at this point who killed SW. One less incestual superhero is probably a good thing. Why were Magneto & Co. on the cover if they weren’t in the issue (talk about a spoiler!)? Will they explain where Ultimate Black Panther came from (other than Ultimate Wakanda, smartass)?
I don’t see Joe Mad getting behind on the book since whats-is-face does most of the grunt work, it’s only five issues and Mad’s been working on it for over two years already. One other reason it’s a good thing this is only 5 issues: I probably wouldn’t stick around for 13.
Can we all agree, at this point, that Jeph Loeb has sucked completely since going to Marvel?
Joe Mad is part of the reason I decided not to continue with The Ultimates after the conclusion of the second volume. As you said, his art is WAY too ’90’s, and that’s something I generally try and avoid in ALL of my comics, ESPECIALLY one that’s been known for being as “realistic” as The Ultimates.
I think Joe Mad is part of the reason that Loeb feels the need to take the reader by the hand as well; I’m honestly not sure whether or not Mad’s art lends itself to the kind of visual exposition that Hitch’s uber-straightforward linework does.
-M
I can’t think of anything good Loeb has done since returning to Marvel. Wolverine, Fallen Son…what else has he done?
Loeb’s also the writer on Onslaught Reborn, and he wrote one-third of Ultimate Power, both of which are pretty bad from what little I’ve seen of them.
I’m not sure how much of that falls on Loeb, since he’s collaborating with Bendis, JMS, and Greg Land on Ultimate Power, so who knows who’s to blame for that. And I’m not sure any writer could make something good out of Onslaught Reborn, but to sum up, no, I don’t think Jeph Loeb has done anything for Marvel recently that can be called “good”.
Did you guys think it was pretty ridiculous, too, that the Scarlet Witch was basically completely naked when they were ice-skating? What a silly costume to wear in the winter!
Slowly it dawns on the world. The Loeb is bad. The Loeb has always been bad.