Countdown: Thirty-Four

Hello, boys and girls. Are you ready for this week’s issue of the dreadfully awful series “Countdown?” Let’s hope so, because this is the fucking review of it. Let’s begin at the beginning. To start, Piper and Trickster are strung upside down by the side of a building, for Batman to find, by Poison Ivy and Deathstroke, I’d guess. Only, before he can do anything, Batman loses their control to Flash (Wally West), and that’s the end of that shit. Were they in league? They’d certainly seem…

…To be. And then, we’re sent off to that storyline about Jimmy Olsen. John Henry Irons is trying to figure out what’s wrong with Jimmy, to no avail, and yet, we find that he knows way more than he has…

…Any right to know. Jimmy has quite a bit of knowlege that he shouldn’t know. But his brain just seems to be growing and growing, in spite of the fact that the villains around Bart Allen’s grave are shrinking. That may seem lame, but it brings us to the Palmerverse, where we, fuck it. Let’s recap.

Queen Belthera is worthlessly annoying, Mary Marvel has nothing to say, those Amazon bitches don’t have a bit to talk about, Karate Kid is infected with the OMAC virus (so, so stupid), and that’s probably all.

Refer to the Doomino Effect, if you will, to see how these jerk Rogues are actually responsible for Flash’s death. That’s all I’ve got. I’m drunk as shit