Book of Doom: Sub-Mariner #1

As I sat down to write the preview to this week’s Book of Doom, I honestly thought to myself, “What have I done?” (and then I typed it).

When it’s my turn to pick, I try to pick something I’m unfamiliar with, but also something that has a chance of being liked. This usually means a #1 issue or the beginning of a new arc, so that it’s a good jumping-on point and everyone doesn’t just rip on the book because they don’t know what’s going on.

This week, the two first issues were World War Hulk #1 and Sub-Mariner #1. Incredible Hulk #106 was our Book of Doom a month ago, so I figured the tie went to Namor.

I fully expected this to be a piece of crap. The first hint was the Michael Turner cover. The subtext told me “We think this book stinks, so we’ll stick Turner on the cover duties so maybe it’ll sell a little extra.” I couldn’t think of any compelling reason to give Namor his own series, so it just seemed like some delayed post-Civil War cashing-in.

It’s probably obvious by this point with all the setup that I didn’t think it was crap. I actually really, really enjoyed this. I have never really cared for Namor at all in my history of reading Marvel comics. I’ve gotten a bit of a kick out of his characterization in the Illuminati series, serving as the arrogant conversational foil for the rest of the gang’s attempts at civility. But a cocky, condescending, essentially racist, super-powered monarch just kind of runs its course after a while.

So what I really loved about this book was its depiction of the other side of Namor. And I don’t mean a soft, cuddly romantic side, but a side of Namor when he realizes he’s not in control. His no-nonsense tough guy facade isn’t enough. He’s still a badass, but he’s in unfamiliar territory and realizes the situation is bad enough that he is actually in some trouble.

I don’t think that his fish-out-of-water status, so to speak, was better conveyed than in the conversation between him and Iron Man about the gravity of the situation in Kansas. Namor starts and finishes that discussion with his normal dismissive attitude, but in the middle, when the situation really clicks and before he’s had a chance to re-compose himself, he slips and calls Iron Man “Tony.” Namor the Gruff Ruler temporarily steps aside for Namor the Guy Who Realizes This Is Worse Than It Seems, and that is what makes this situation compelling.

Namor is typically a loner on the surface world, but he always talks tough because he knows he’s got the might of Atlantis behind him if some air-breather wants to get tough. But now, as he has to solve this mystery, he is truly alone. He doesn’t have any backup or any enforcer muscle. Like any good ruler, his duty is to his people, but his enemies are on all sides.

Helping Matt Cherniss and Peter Johnson’s story was some great art by Phil Briones. I don’t know who anybody is on this creative team, but it was fantastic. The splash page of the skeleton on the throne was beautifully composed. Briones’ art style makes me think of what Barry Windsor-Smith might have drawn like had he come along in the post-Image world.

There’s no doubt that much of my excitement with the book came from my lack of any positive expectations. But a book has to do more than simply not be awful to make me want to come back, and I definitely look forward to the rest of this series.

Enough from me. Let’s see what the rest of the Legion had to say, starting with celebrity guest reviewer Allen Holt from Jimmy Olsen’s Blues:

I’m not going to get much into the plot of Sub-Mariner #1 here as I’m sure one of the other Legion of Doom-sters will take care of that, but suffice it to say it involves someone or something framing Atlantis for destroying a small town in Kansas. But, but — who? Why?!? Well, that’s what I guess we’ll find out over the next five issues of this mini-series. And when I say “we,” I mean “you or someone else not me” as I don’t think I’ll be picking up the rest of ’em. This first issue isn’t bad, exactly, but it’s not good enough to make me want to continue reading; that said, it is good enough that if I hear excellent things about the way it goes from here on out, I’ll think about getting the trade.

(Why Kansas, by the way? You can’t get a whole lot more land-locked than Kansas. I’d have thought that if the whoever-it-is-doing-the-framing wanted to convincingly make the Americans think Atlantis was responsible, they might’ve picked a town more, y’know, on the coast. Luckily, we have Tony Stark, Iron Man, one of the smartest and most powerful men in the Marvel Universe and director of SHIELD, around to not think about what’s going on at all.)

I had some issues with Namor’s characterization in this issue, but I’ll freely admit that perhaps I’m not as much up on my Namor as I should be. Yes, he’s always been arrogant and standoffish and believes Atlanteans to be fundamentally superior to humans (though he himself is half human) — but I don’t recall him being so cold as to murder one of his own people (you can claim self-defense, but c’mon, this is Namor — he easily could’ve taken the guy down without killing him) or to vow to spill human blood. He’s a king, but I never thought of him as a Dr. Doom-esque tyrant. There’s very little heroic, or even particularly likable, about Namor in this issue, and last I checked he was still supposed to be sitting at the good guys’ table at the Marvel Universe Thanksgiving Dinner, strained relations with the humans or no.

(Relatively minor characterization quibble: under no circumstances can I see Namor ever addressing Iron Man as Tony. Stark, sure, all the time, but not Tony. That one panel struck me as very wrong. Yes, I’m a dork.)

Other than that one Meltzer-y moment of Namor’s and a couple of clunky moments of dialogue (pretty much forgivable in a comic about Namor), the script by Matt Cherniss and Peter Johnson’s fairly solid. They set up the series’ overarching mystery in the first few pages and get into the action pretty quickly. I wasn’t all that enamored with Phil Briones’ art, though; I think I might advise that Briones buy himself a mirror so that he can check the proportions on human faces, ’cause they were all over the place and even a bit grotesque on occasion.

If you’re really, really into Sub-Mariner (and I assume someone has to be, right?), then by all means pick this issue up; if you’re not, I don’t think you’ll be missing an integral part of the post-Civil War landscape if you take a pass on it or even wait for the trade.

Now here’s what Fin Fang Doom had to say:

Diplomacy is boring. Sure, it’s a great way to not get thousands of people killed for no good reason, but it isn’t very interesting. There’s no pizzazz; no flair; no zing! Plus, it takes forever to get anything accomplished. I mean, who wants to wait around just talking if you can just fight it out? That wouldn’t take more than a month or two, right? Plus, fighting’s got explosions. I like explosions. You know what I don’t like? Comic books where nothing happens.

Case in point: Sub-Mariner #1. Iron Man looks at stuff, talks to some lady, talks to Namor, and then talks to some other guys. Then Namor talks to some guys, too. Then, just when it looks like Namor’s going to whoop some ass, the issue ends. Yawn. A comic where all they do is talk doesn’t have to be boring. Look at X-Factor or The Walking Dead. That talking is interesting. The talking in this issue was not.

That’s probably due in no small part to this being one of the most thinly veiled criticisms of the way Bush has waged his War on Terror ever created in any medium. Switch “Muslim” with “Atalantean” and there you go. Wow, creative. Oh, but I guess Tony Stark doesn’t immediately go to war with Atlantis, despite his evil henchmen urging him to do so. Just because he did the not completely idiotic thing doesn’t mean I like Iron Man any better, Marvel. He still killed Cap and betrayed Spider-Man. Quit trying to pass the guy off as a hero in every single damn comic you put out!

I will say I really enjoyed the water effects in the artwork. So often when a comic is set underwater, it looks just like it would above water, except slightly bluer. Phil Briones actually has the water foaming around the characters when they so some kind of sudden action, which would actually make the water foam. That’s a very cool attention to detail that I appreciated a lot.

Sub-Mariner #1 just rubbed me the wrong way, though. I have to hear about horrible decisions made in this horrible war and the horrible consequences they bring every single day. I don’t want to be reminded of that when I sit down for my weekly dose of superhero escapism. That doesn’t mean I’m opposed to any kind of political or social relevance in comic books. But please, if you’re going to make a statement, make sure it’s one actually worth making. There was nothing original or insightful about the message here (not to mention, much like Civil War it comes about four years too late). We’ve been hearing these exact same ideas presented in different forms for years now. Adding Iron Man and Namor into the mix doesn’t make them fresh. This was formulaic garbage at its absolute worst.

And finishing out the cru, here’s Jean-Claude Van Doom:

I don’t give a crap about Namor. I don’t really care about Marvel all that much since House of M and Civil War. I have no idea who Matt Cherniss and Peter Johnson are. And I freaking loathe Michael Turner. So why the hell did I really like this issue?

The easiest thing to point to is the hook (pun intended), those first splash pages that show a decimated Atlantis and the rotting bones of Namor (apparently). The writers use an old trick by showing the ending and making me wonder how the hell things got to that point. The reason it works so well (again, I don’t care about Namor, alive or dead) is the first page and Tony Stark’s ramblings, which set up a solemn tone and also imply that there’s something exceptionally fishy going on.

Like Nova (another surprisingly good book), the real issue here is the fallout after Civil War and how the fault lines haven’t quite settled down. All the old players are still trying to figure out the new alignment, which strangely has been more compelling to me than the actual war.

And since Black Adam has been cornholed over in DC, it’s nice to see his Marvel U counterpart in full badass mode. While Namor’s a pretty hardcore ruler, his kingship rings a bit truer than that of Black Adam, as there actually are some bits of political intrigue and dissent in Atlantis, whereas any complaint in Khandaq just led to an exploded face.

The one thing that genuinely bothered me was that Nitro is still alive as an Atlantean prisoner. Maybe I missed this, but it seems like Namor would’ve executed the guy that killed his relative. So it seems like Nitro is alive because he’s a cog in the plot. Oh, and that last page with an armored-up Namor was kind of silly looking. At least, unless you hold it up next to the cover.

Well readers, there you have it. As you can plainly see, we all agree that Sub-Mariner #1 is the greatest comic book ever to come out in the universe.