Podcast of Doom: Episode 2 (transcript)

[SFX: Podcast of Doom theme music]

JIM DOOM: Hello and welcome to our second edition of the Podcast of Doom. I am your co-host, Jim Doom.

DOOM DELUISE: And I’m your party-host, Doom DeLuise.

[SFX: audience laughter]

JD: Well, today Doom and I are going to discuss something very important in comic books these days, and that is love and relationships. What better example of love and relationships in comics than the brand new Nightwing Annual #2, which hit comic shops this week.

Now, we probably should have covered this in pre-production, but you read the Nightwing annual that came out this week, right?

DD: Uh…Nightwhat?

JD: Nightwing.

DD: Darkwing Duck?

JD: Oh dear…

DD: Hmm. Was that in World War 3?

JD: What are we going to talk about now —

DD: Oh yeah. I read it.


JD: Well, I thought that was a heck of an issue.

DD: As did I. Although, it failed to address a couple key points from the OYL stories.

JD: Well, I stopped reading that, so all I really wanted to know was why Dick and Barbara broke up, and I was surprised at how good the exposition was. Speaking of surprise goodness, you should try this chocolate soy milk. It is so good!

DD: I’m drinking beer, and it is SO GOOD!

Back to what I was saying, I printed this out for you. (Editors note: the visual aide can be viewed here)

[SFX: sound of papers shuffling]

DD: How’s that make sense?

JD: Well, he realizes he isn’t the settle-down type that he wants to be. He needs to be the ass-kicker who commits himself to the people more than to any one person.

DD: Babs made that decision for him. SHE dumped HIM!

[audience: Oooh!]

JD: And he realized she was right. he took her on faith, went on the Wayne family vacation, and realized she was right.

DD: And in the meantime fell for Batwoman. I really, really enjoyed reading the Nightwing Annual, but I still am not satisfied with how it’s all been settled.

JD: Moreso than falling for Batwoman, he wants to end up with Barbara, but just knows that the last thing he should do is come back to her before he’s really, truly ready.

DD: That’s fair. That’s true.

JD: So Batwoman, Nightwing 3, all that stuff, that’s just “I’m dating but not looking for marriage” stuff. Now, on an unrelated note, although they didn’t draw Barbara like a 16 year old, I was a little bothered by the titillating drawing of 16-year old Barbara exposing her boob in the car.

[audience: Booo!]

DD: I was aroused by that.

[audience: cheers]

DD: Kidding, but, yeah, you’re completely right.

JD: yeah it’s hot because she’s drawn like a hot adult woman, I just don’t like them doing that and then pointing out she’s 16. But I guess its designed to be a teenager’s fantasy, and I know when I was 16 I’d have loved to peek at Batgirl’s boob even if she was 16.

DD: Fair ’nuff. I just don’t like this line: “I suddenly saw things for what they were, rather than what I wanted them to be” … “Her for what she really was?” … “Me…for what I really am.” What in the BLUE HELL does that mean?

JD: He thought he was the settling down type. He gave her a ring. He realized that wasn’t right, that he wasn’t that man.

DD: He is that man. He didn’t take the ring back, goddamnit!

JD: No. He will be someday, but he’s not now. He didn’t take the ring back, but they’re not engaged either.

DD: One Year Later, let’s say you’re correct, why’d he [beep] Cheyenne Fremont?

JD: Because, like I’ve said a bunch of times, he’s dating to date, not to get married. He’s not ready to settle down!


JD: Did you read the book? Barbara loves Dick, Dick loves Barbara, but Barbara dumped him because he’s not ready to settle down. She knows that, he knows that, she still loves him for it and she’ll still be there when he’s ready. But she’s not going to fool herself that he’s ready when he’s not, and neither is he.

She dumped him, but it was based on what was essentially a mutual understanding. It’s one of those classic “We love each other, and because we love each other, we’re going to call it off” scenarios.

Barbara didn’t dump him for something he did, because he’s a jerk, or anything like that. She dumped him because he needed to be Nightwing and not Mr. Gordon.

DD: Ok, you’re correct. She dumped him, he accepted it. All of that happened at the very end of the missing year. One Year Later, Dick was [beep]ing Cheyenne Fremont willy-nilly.

JD: Man, I don’t know how to say it any different. They’re not engaged!

DD: You don’t have to! They’re not engaged!

JD: If they’re not engaged, why can’t he date other people?

DD: He’s not dating!

JD: If they’re not engaged, why can’t he sleep with other people?

DD: He’s [beep]ing some random bitch willy-nilly, for no reason!

JD: What’s the problem here? You realize he’s not engaged, but you’re expecting him to act like he is?

DD: Because BAB’S AIN’T!

JD: She’s ready, he’s not. They both know that.

DD: You complained about his womanizing more than me, originally.

JD: You bet I did. But now I get it.

Without explaining Dick Grayson’s realization, I think it was out of character. But with him realizing that he shouldn’t be committing himself to one person romantically because his commitment is to his life as Nightwing, it works for me.

Having one night stands is perfectly in line with him accepting that Nightwing comes first, for now. It’s what Bruce Wayne does.

He’s a guy who was struggling and failing to balance a Dick Grayson life with a Nightwing life. The Dick Grayson life was being compromised for the Nightwing life. Now he’s just not trying to make the Dick Grayson life any more than it can be if he’s going to prioritize the Nightwing life.

Somewhere down the road, the balance will tip. He’ll prioritize the Dick Grayson life. Then he’ll go back to Barbara.

DD: I guess that I’m just more sensitive than you are, my friend…

[audience: laughter]

DD: …and I can’t see Nightwing as anything more than a piece of [beep] while he’s going through his little stages.

JD: You’re expecting him to act like he’s engaged when he’s not.

DD: I think that you’re wrong, and every [beep]ing writer that’s been working on Nightwing is wrong. JUST BECAUSE BABS TOLD DICK THAT SHE DOESN’T WANNA [BEEP] HIM DOESN’T GIVE THAT ASSHOLE FREE-REIGN ON ALL DC [BEEP]Y.

JD: And with that, we’re out of time.

[sfx: Podcast of Doom outro music begins]

DD: But wait, I’M NOT DONE!

JD: Save it for next week – we’re out of time.


[SFX: Music fade out]