Meaningless Awards of the Week- 11/15/06
Welcome to the latest recurring feature on Legion of Doom that I’ll inevitable give up on after a couple of weeks: the Meaningless Awards of the Week! Maybe I’ll actually stick this one since I can do however many or few I want depending on the quality of books that week. This week, I’m handing out six Meanies. Next week, it might only be one. Anyone care to place take the over/under on how long I’ll keep this up?
Best Line of the Week- Uatu the Watcher from What If..? Spider-Man The Other, by Peter David
“It is said in storytelling that it is preferable to show rather than tell. But to show the slow, gradual destruction of the being known as Peter Parker…it would be too heartbreaking. I speak of these “What Ifs… to educate–to bring you understanding of the many directions that choices can take you. Not to send you into spirals of depression. Nor depict things so nightmarish that you will never have another full night’s sleep, ever, if you bear witness to them. So take the word of Uatu, the Watcher, that it was a long and terrible battle. And ultimately…one that Peter Parker lost.”
Worst Justification of the Superhero Registration Act of the Week- Civil War #5
So now apparently the US government wanted to ban all superheroes from the beginning, and Iron Man and Mr. Fantastic were just coming up with a compromise so superheroes could still stick around: Forced military service vs. imprisonment. Nice. I think we tried that a while ago, but it didn’t turn out too well that time either. Oh, and did Iron Man actually try to justify killing Bill Foster by saying Thor did what any police officer would have done? Last time I checked, cops didn’t shoot people through the chest with lightning. That may be the definition of excessive force.
Best Fight of the Week- Hyperion vs. Redstone from Squadron Supreme #7
Y’know, I really didn’t want to like Squadron Supreme this week. It’s running so late I was hoping I’d hate it so I could drop it. No such luck. Hyperion and Redstone had a amazingly brutal fight that put Superman vs. Earth-2 Superman to shame and may have even trumped the Viltrumite fight from Invincible.
Funniest Book of the Week- Battle Pope #11
Santa Claus hates Jesus because Jesus’ dad condemned everyone on Earth, thus eliminating the “good boys and girls” and putting Santa out of a job. Jesus hates Santa Claus because Santa ruined his birthday. So of course they get in a knockdown, drag-out brawl. Meanwhile, Battle Pope has trouble satisfying Jesus’ smoking hot mom in the sack, because apparently once you go omniscient, nothing else is sufficient. If you know what I mean.
Universe of the Week- the DC Universe
DC put out a lot of great books this week. So did Marvel, but half of those books were from alternate universes and timelines and such. DC put out 52, Checkmate, Green Lantern Corps, Shadowpact, Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis, Robin and Birds of Prey, and every single one delivered.
Book of the Week- Birds of Prey #100
With Black Canary jumping ship to the Justice League retiring to raise Sin in a normal environment, Oracle is faced with forming a new team of Birds of Prey. After inviting just about every DC heroine out there, she settles on the rather odd choice of Big Barda, Judomaster and Manhunter to join Huntress and Lady Blackhawk. I’m really looking forward to reading what Gail Simone will do with these characters I know nothing about, and this issue was a great taste of what’s to come. That story by itself didn’t make Birds of Prey the book of the week, though. There’s a 16-page back up story in addition to the regular 22-page main story, and it’s essentially an origin story for Black Canary. Sure, they just did her origin in the back of 52, but this one is 8 times as long (allowing an actual narrative), and it didn’t look like crap. Regular BoP artist Paulo Sequiero did the art, and I’ve yet to be thoroughly impressed with anything he’s done.