Marvel editors put on Bad Idea Jeans one leg at a time

At the Diamond Retailer Summit, Marvel announced a whole slate of projects. For good reason, most of the attention has gone to the planned cross-promotional effort with CBS soap opera Guiding Light. The only way this could seem like a good idea would be if it was all a set up for the next issue of Wha Huh? It’s not. It’s real.

At Marvel’s site, it’s detailed just how this wacky relationship will work. Guiding Light, which takes place in Springfield (just like the Simpsons, sort of) and probably follows a bunch of elite families acting dastardly, is going to feature a new superhero being created or born or something. The pre-Civil War New Avengers go in to investigate to try to bring the hero to the side of good, but supervillains are also trying to team up with the new kid on the block.

In a Newsarama interview, the responsible Marvel editor explains how this team-up makes perfect sense, since there are so many parallels between comics and soap operas. And that’s a completely justified thought. While comics cater to youngish men (mostly) and soaps target middle-aged women, they both feature long-time running series with a continuous plot, implausible twists and turns, hammy dialogue, over-heightened dramatics and, in both, nobody ever stays dead.

But just because two things have parallels, that doesn’t mean it’s a great idea to bring them together. The point, as has been said, is that this is an effort to
A: bring more Guiding Light viewers into comics and
B: bring more comics readers into Guiding Light.

But, if we’re thinking of comics and soaps as parallels, let’s think of them as parallel lines. And let’s think of them as being at opposite sides of the same plane. See, soap viewers are (mostly) middle-age women. Comics readers are (mostly) youngish guys. What each group finds entertaining is completely different from the other, aside from a continuous, over-the-top plotline. Do many middle-age women even go to comic book movies, the most accessible outlet of the form? I doubt it. And do many comics fans read romance novels?

So, anyway, this is pretty well bound to be completely forgettable, no matter how well executed. All we can do is wonder, in the interim, at who the new hero will be. My guess? Marvel Marketing Man.
Strengths: creativity, dropping code-words like “integration,” and great connections.
Weaknesses: Utter lack of common sense.