It’s like Shakespeare, but with lots more punching.

For those who missed out, that comes from the bizarre theme song to the latest Warren Ellis creation for Marvel, “Next Wave.” (To check out the song, go to The first issue came out Wednesday and was easily the most exciting launch of the week.

In a nutshell, it’s decent. Not great, not horrible. Decent.

The characters are an ensemble of also-rans: Monica Rambeau (Captain Marvel and Photon), Aaron Stack (Machine Man), Tabitha Smith (X-Force’s Meltdown), monster hunter Elsa Bloodstone and Captain @#%&@#$ (or something like that). A diapered Fin Fang Foom makes an appearance as well.

The plot is that a secret terrorist organization is trying to unleash Fin Fang Foom on the world, and the Next Wavers step in to put a halt to the mayhem. Oh, and Fin Fang Foom is buried in South Dakota before he’s unleashed, for some reason.

Don’t expect implications anywhere else in the Marvel U. The characters don’t matter and the plot points are almost entirely new. It’s similar to Howard Chaykin’s 2004 limited series “Challengers of the Unknown” in that respect. The two series also share a “hit me over the head with a shovel” attempt at political commentary (Though Next Wave isn’t as bad, it still may as well have a “Republicans = bad” sticker on the cover).

More than anything, Next Wave is an attempt to have some silly fun. The first issue had moments that were kind of funny, but nowhere near enough to get me laughing out loud. It’s far less humorous than another “secret hero team fighting terrorists book,” the now-defunct “New Invaders.”

Maybe they should change around the theme song: “It’s like Shakespeare, except it’s not very good.”