G1 Climax 29 Block A: Lance Archer vs. Bad Luck Fale

Man, Bad Luck Fale is lame. Fat, slow, boring and he sucks too. I wouldn’t be watching this match if not for a desire to watch all the tournament matches. Archer really impressed me in the opening night match against Ospreay, so maybe he’ll make this watchable.

Not sure who is supposed to be the face in this match, though; both seem determined to be as unlikeable as possible. I realize over the course of the block there are going to be several heel vs. heel matchups, but I was curious if they’d try to subtly encourage fan preference.

The announcers aren’t concerned about reaching the 30 minute time limit. “We’ll be lucky if we get to 10.”

I realize screaming “EVERYBODY DIES!” is part of Archer’s gimmick but he really overdoes it. It doesn’t come off as scary or threatening but just like somebody pulled the Lance Archer doll’s string again so he’s saying “everybody dies” again.

So far this match is just lazy, slow-motion brawling. I’m considering stopping it early. Considering I’m about a month behind on this tournament, this feels like maybe something I don’t need to watch. I appreciate the polite in-person crowd still gently applauding Archer’s slow climb to his feet.

Following up on the earlier topic, Archer isn’t working face at all, but presumably due to Fale’s terribleness the crowd has started lightly supporting Archer. “What world am I living in,” Kevin Kelly asks. “People are actually starting to cheer Lance Archer?”

Fale’s so bad that a standard superplex is exciting because he’s actually doing something other than just walking around slowly.

Archer’s doing a good job of waking the crowd up. This guy seems like he could come out of this tournament a new main-event star in New Japan. That was an interesting finish — pinning Fale by squeezing Fale’s head and essentially having the shoulders down incidentally.

Archer is now at 4 points, Fale holds at 2.