G1 Climax 29 Block A: Bad Luck Fale vs Evil

In full transparency I’m only watching this match to be a completist. I’m not really into either of these guys. I’m mostly watching this because I’m intrigued by the upcoming Evil and Sanada match, and I figure I should see how Evil does leading up to that.

I’ve always felt like Bad Luck Fale has a real “I’m a sort of D-Lo Brown-esque category of loser” vibe to him. The announcers seem to agree as they promise this match will go nowhere near the 30 minute time limit. Thank you for that.

Fale may be a slow fat guy, but he does know how to leverage his size to come across as sincerely menacing. He does the great heel move of going for the pin by standing with one foot on the chest of Evil. When I was in 7th grade, Aaron Shigley went for a pin on Brian McConnell with that move in PE class, and Mr. Kecheley grabbed Aaron by the shirt and slammed against the wall and told him never to pull a stunt like that in his class again. It was awesome. But Aaron was way cooler as a middle schooler than Fale is as a fat old adult.

While I was reminiscing about middle school PE class, Evil turned the tide, but not quite enough to end this stinker. Camo-pants Fale won’t stay down. Now Fale is threatening to use a chair. I’d rather see him just lose straight up, but whatever it takes to end this.

Great move in the history of absurdity when Evil positions the ref to hold Fale’s leg as Evil takes Fale down. It managed to come off as pretty believable, but then we move into a folding-chair segment.

Winner: Bad Luck Fale with the Bad Luck Fall in 11:33 seconds for +2 points. If I were Evil, knowing I’m a mortal with a finite number of matches left in my life, I’d be a little bummed that I just spent one on putting Bad Luck Fale over. But such is life.