Wars and Rumors of Wars

According to Rule #34 of the Rules of Acquisition, “War is good for business.”

That’s entirely different than Rule #34 of the Internet, but I can’t really get into that here.

But war is good for business, in a lot of ways.

Especially in movies and television and, of course, comic books, war drives profits up with every appearance, practically, which is why comic books, in particular, always seem to be building toward the next big war.

Not only is it good for business, it’s also, incidentally, a really easy storytelling gimmick to structure these books around.

Once a year, we’re treated to at least one giant war per company, and this year will be no different.

In DC, we’re being treated to the Trinity War, which pits the Justice League vs. Justice League of America vs. Justice League Dark.

For those of you wishing this would be where that “To be Continued” tag at the end of Justice League International finally picks up (which we were left hanging on prior to the New 52), well, sorry, there’s only room for three stupid Justice Leagues in this universe, and that ain’t one of ’em.

Unfortunately, I just can’t drum up interest in myself for this thing. I was quite enjoying how DC’s been avoiding company-wide crossovers since relaunching the New 52, and I’m not sure if there’s been enough time for each title to “settle in” before disrupting everything with a Status-Quo-Altering Universe Changer. If it screws up Scott Snyder’s Batman, I’m gonna be pissed, at least.

But what luck! If you’re not interested in Trinity War, Marvel has a war of their own – – Infinity!

Starring that guy from the credits of the Avengers movie, this story focuses on Thanos arriving on Earth to, I dunno, destroy it?

They’re going to be bringing in a ton of cosmic stuff into this story, presumably as primer for the direction the Marvel Cinematic Universe appears to be heading in.

The logic is, they get the comic nerds brushed up on their Guardians of the Galaxy trivia now, through Infinity, and, then, next summer, those nerds can turn around and act like know-it-all dickholes to their friends when the Guardians of the Galaxy movie hits theatres! Brilliant!

Again, I’m not terribly excited for this. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm lies elsewhere.

Sorry to make you wait, but, for those of you who saw the Walking Dead teaser promo up top, this is where I finally talk about what I’m really interested in, and hopefully you are too.

One of the coolest things about the Walking Dead is they’re not afraid to kill off nearly all of their characters, sometimes all at once.

Time and again over this series, Robert Kirkman has raised the stakes with more and more bloodshed, and, unfortunately for the characters in the Walking Dead that are still alive, it’s been awhile since he’s cleared the decks.

But now, in October, starting with issue #115 (that’s just four issues away, for those of you keeping track at home), the series will start shipping twice monthly for the storyline titled “All Out War,” which will last for a staggering seven months.

It seems like only yesterday that the villain Negan was introduced, along with his group of Saviors, but it’s been a dozen issues now. We all knew it was heading in this direction from the minute Negan pulled out “Lucille,” his baseball bat wrapped in barbwire, and I’m glad we’re finally going to see things escalate into war.

At least in Walking Dead, it’s been about five years since the last war. Better the occasional “All Out War” than Marvel and DC’s ongoing monthly series “Non-Stop War.”

Criticisms aside, I’m going to read all of them, there’s no way around it.

I actually can’t wait. For any of them. Sometimes, I just complain about stuff. I’m still a huge fan of these stupid books.