I’m Told I Should Be Outraged

Thursday night, Doom DeLuise gave me a call to ask if I had read my comics for the week yet. He said there was one issue in particular that I’d find quite interesting. Unfortunately, he thought I’d find that issue interesting because it would annoy the living hell out of me and hopefully get me blogging again. Well, it got me blogging again, but it didn’t elicit the reaction Doom DeLuise probably expected it would.

Sensational Spider-Man #41 is part three of “One More Day,” the final story arc of J. Michael Stracynski’s landmark run on the character. The story has been about Peter Parker’s quest to save his Aunt May’s life, which is hanging in the balance because she took an assassin’s bullet meant for Spider-Man. When all natural means of recovery are exhausted, Mephisto shows up and offers Peter and Mary Jane a deal: he’ll save May’s life in exchange for their marriage.

Okay, first of all, that’s a really bad deal. If Mephisto saves Aunt May this time, she’s got maybe five years left before she kicks the bucket of natural causes. Quite frankly, it’s amazing that she’s made it this far. That woman’s been older than dirt since Amazing Fantasy #15. So in exchange for maybe five more years of life for May, Peter and MJ give up a lifetime of happiness with each other? During the issue, Peter was visited by two alternate versions of himself, and both were unfulfilled because they never found their one true love. Did Pete learn nothing from this? Even if May is alive, he’ll be miserable without MJ. Plus, no one in the history of the world has ever made a deal with the devil and decided in retrospect it was a good idea. Seriously, Pete and MJ would have to be the biggest idiots in the world to take this deal.

So when it’s revealed in the final chapter that Peter and MJ are indeed the biggest idiots in the world, you’d expect me to be uset, right? After all, I’ve railed on Joe Quesada for his obsession with ending the marriage more than once here on doomkopf.com. I even created the Joe Quesada Award to highlight my hatred of Joe’s hatred of the marriage. But as it turns out, I think this little bargain is about the best thing that could have happened to the marriage.

On the one hand, if somehow Pete and MJ smarten up and don’t take the deal, the marriage is safe. If Spider-Man unmasking and May getting shot and this thing with Mephisto doesn’t end the marriage, I really don’t think anything is going to do it. Maybe this whole “I’m Joe Quesada and I hate the marriage and I’m all that matters so there” thing was just a giant work from the beginning. I highly doubt it, but Joe Q’s such a smarmy huckster I wouldn’t put it past him.

On the other hand, if Pete and MJ take the deal, the marriage will eventually be back, and stronger than ever. The tragedy of this deal with the devil would be too good of a story to not capitalize on. Spider-Man thrives on angst, and there’s enough angst in this one situation to keep Spidey angst-filled for quite a while. But it will only work if they keep Mary Jane in the picture (which they are) and keep the fact that they really love each other a the front of everyone’s mind. And the only logical conclusion to that story is for Pete and MJ to get back together in the end and live happily ever after.

No one wants to see Spider-Man miserable. Actually, that’s not true. Spider-Man is at his best when he’s misearble. But the only thing better than seeing Spider-Man miserable is seeing him finally get that moment of happiness after a long period of being miserable. So even if the marriage does end in the last chapter of “One More Day,” I can rest easy knowing that eventually Peter and MJ will be back where they belong: together.