Worst to First: 7/5/07


Right about now, Jim Doom is getting hitched. I’d like to claim that this blogging then is going on from inside the sanctuary, but sadly I wasn’t able to make the drive up to take part in said nuptials (it’s a sore topic, so let’s just let it go). Seeing as this is such a big event, I of course have to make this edition of Worst to First in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Jim Doom, may they be doomed forever.

Well, onto the comics. As always, the ranking is a marginally considered structure decided on by me and me alone. We start with the chaff and shuck down to the kernels of illustrated goodness.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWorst: Countdown #43

If you’d like to read my public pantsing of this very crappy book, check out the latest edition of our handy weekly Countdown review.

Verbosaphobia: Detective Comics #834

I’m not sure there’s a name for the fear of comic books that are needlessly ruined by an overabundance of expository dialogue and pointless thought bubbles, but there should be. For the first time that I can ever remember, Paul Dini does a really poor job of writing the Joker. Maybe he was kidnapped by aliens. Or Marvel.

This conclusion to the Joker’s magic ride starts in quicksand by filling two pages to brimming with the Joker explaining how we got to this point in the story, even though it wasn’t especially unclear to begin with. This just railroads last issue’s great setup. The thing that’s always been so awesome about the Joker is that he’s like a pressure cooker that’s constantly about to explode. In other words, he’s not the kind of villain who sits around and sedately recounts his exploits. A bad week for Dini.

Hollow: Thor #1

J. Michael Straczynski is the type of writer who’s always interesting to read, because at the very least he aspires to lofty places, both in literary and psychological terms. In this revival of the Thunder God, he takes a pondering and dreamy look at what it means to be dead, to be a god, to live, etc. With an awful lot of help from Olivier Coipel’s gracefully smooth pencils, Straczynski pulls together what appears to be a meaty tale. But, it’s really cotton candy. The theological conversation between Thor and Donald Blake go light on character history or actual mythology and instead just wind around in circles to a “you can become alive if you believe it” message. That means this book is surprisingly good… until you think about it.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketRegression: Criminal #7

I greatly enjoyed both the first storyline in Criminal and the first issue of this new one (I’m a week late getting to the second). This one, though, just rung a bit flat. Like the Detective issue, an overload of exposition bogged things down and the story never really ratcheted up. And the one bit of developing tension (Tracy’s early robbery coming back to haunt him) is spoiled by Ed Brubaker’s note at the front of the issue. What, did he take Ruining the Plot 101 with Dan Didio?

Sliver of hope: Uncanny X-Men #488

The only thing really worthwhile in this issue is the exchange between Xavier and Val Cooper, in which Charles basically tells her that mutants are no longer going to accept being under the thumb of O*N*E (somewhat literally) and storms off. It’s nice to see the mutants getting back to fighting for themselves instead of just sitting around the mansion, waiting to get their asses kicked. More than anything, Brubaker’s run has really re-established Xavier as the team leader.

Everything else — searching the sewers, Morlocks turning subway riders to mutants — has literally been done before. As for the Endangered Species backup, I really don’t see this turning into anything worthwhile. Beast climbs a mountain and meets cat people. The End.

First: Outsiders #49

There are just so many potential plot threads that can be chased out of the events of “CheckOut” that I’m pretty intrigued to see where everything’s headed. That’s coming from a guy who had zero interest in either of these groups beforehand. Sasha is torn all to bits and may be missing an arm, so you have to wonder if she’ll come back from this even less human than before. There’s all sorts of questions about the power structure of Checkmate. That nasty egg scientist is still on the loose. North Korea may want to start a war. And so on. All good stuff.

There’s only two gripes I have. First, the editors could’ve done a better job of fitting artists on this project. Marvel has become so great at putting together artists who are nearly indistinguishable. I was wrong to criticize Ron Randall a couple weeks ago in this crossover. He’s solid, but he doesn’t have a discernable style, very much unlike Matthew Clark. Just herky-jerky. Second, I can’t help but feel like the installation of Batman atop the Outsiders is being done simply to boost sales. It seemed a bit contrived is all. However, I plan on keeping with this series for now.