Book of Doom: Fantastic Four #544
Well the mystery has been solved! The two new members of the Fantastic Four are Black Panther and Storm! Who would have known?
I don’t read FF, as I believe I stated in the Book of Doom preview, and I probably still won’t! This issue was okay, and it was kind of fun, but it involved a whole lot of characters I didn’t care about. One of my major pet peeves is when a new writer takes over a book, and then all of a sudden they drag in all their pet projects. How big of a coincidence is it that McDuffie takes over the book and now the cyborg formerly known as Deathlok is around? They presumably brought Dwayne in to write Fantastic Four, not “Dwayne McDuffie’s Vanity Heroes.”
Still, none of that would matter if the story were compelling, but it wasn’t. As a reader, I think it’s fun when I know more than the characters, because then there’s that Hitchcockian impending doom scenario that builds up some nice suspense. But when the characters don’t know what’s going because they’re acting stupid, that’s different. That ugly planet lady is talking about “the herald,” and I who have never read Fantastic Four know what she’s talking about, but the Thing and the Human Torch don’t? Whatever man. I don’t care about the big moments that surprise morons.
And here’s what the rest of the Legion had to say.
Doom DeLuise:
This week, Black Panther and Storm show up as the happy married couple in both this and Wolverine. The only problem is, I care nothing of either of these two characters, and, together, I find them to be quite annoying. Less interesting new additions to the Fantastic Four, you would be hard pressed to find. So, imagine my disappointment when we were teased all fall with the possibilities of having any number of different additions (remember that “Pick Four” hype?), only to be given the two additions that they teased in the first place.
I wasn’t impressed, and I won’t be buying another issue.
Oh, and Michael Turner sucks, etc.
Fin Fang Doom:
I’ve been reading Fantastic Four for about ten years now, and I can’t say I’ve ever disliked anything I’ve ever read in the title. Dwayne McDuffie’s run thus far hasn’t been any different, and neither was this issue. McDuffie was given a pretty crappy assignment when he assigned FF in the midst of this whole Civil War mess, but he’s managed to run with it. Number 544 is the first issue by McDuffie where he’s actually been able been able to write a quartet of heroes going on an adventure, and I’d have to say it looks like the title is in good hands.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this arc was going to be a sequel of sorts to McDuffie’s Beyond! mini-series from last year. I really enjoyed that mini, which was basically just an old-fashioned superhero romp featuring a bunch of d-list characters. I certainly never expected most of the characters to be showing up again any time soon, or even to have the story acknowledged within a major title. That’s a nice little addition for those of us that read the mini-series, but I’m not sure anyone else would care about Gravity’s body being taken into outer space. Like Johnny Storm said, “I don’t think I ever heard of this kid.” I’m guessing most of the audience hadn’t either.
My one big complaint about the issue is that Black Panther and Storm didn’t act like Black Panther and Storm. They acted like Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman. The two new additions to the cast didn’t seem like two new members so much as two new placeholders. I certainly wasn’t happy when I heard Storm and BP were joining the team, but I was still hoping their characters would provide a change of pace for the series. No such luck. We’ve still got a team made up of the Thing, the Human Torch, the super-smart science guy and the enormously-powerful mother figure.
Oh, and the Michael Turner cover was craptacular.
I’m late, but here are my few cents: A lot of things in this issue really bugged me.
First, I come in as a Civil War hater, so I’m jaded, but the whole introduction of bring Storm and Black Panther into the team seemed like some serious shoe-horning. I can’t see, judging from what happened in CW, how Sue and Reed would reunite that easily (they seemed as plucky as ever, just in need of a getaway), and there wasn’t much of a solid reason for Storm and BP to take their places. Also, there was no explanation for why Johnny and Ben changed to black unis, even though McDuffie brought up the question.
I thought that once the plot was established that we’d get past all this poorly conceived junk, but it held up throughout. Why would the FF care about Gravity’s body? Why did they threaten The Watcher when he was happy to chat with them? How did they not guess that Herald thing? Why is the Surfer an asshole after being all peaceful in Planet Hulk?
This issue was all over the place. It only felt like a classic FF book in that it didn’t maintain much logic. I get the feeling this is going to be a very forgotten era of the FF, even moreso than the She Hulk days. Luckily, I won’t be buying any more issues.
I can’t believe I forgot to mention this in my review, but another thing I didn’t like was the art. I can’t get behind someone trying to rip off Mark Bagley. I know FFD likes him, but of all the artists you could rip off, why Mark Bagley?
Second.