Essential? Really?

To preface this rant, let me make something clear. I know next to nothing about Worldstorm. I read Wildcats back when I was a kid, along with a boatload of other worthless nonsense that was coming out at the time, so I don’t exactly remember all of it. I also read the “Captain Atom: Armageddon” miniseries from last year. Beyond that, I don’t know diddly-squat about Worldstorm.worldstorm

Cue this morning. I walked into my local comic shop, and I saw a new issue on the shelf that was titled, “An Essential Guide to Worldstorm.” The price was $2.99, but I figured it would be the perfect thing to bring me up to speed for this new batch of stuff that I’ve been hearing about. Well, did it bring me up to speed? No. Was it entertaining? No. Was it worth $2.99? Not in the least bit.

There are two different “storylines” in this worthless piece of fluff, and they’re both incredibly boring and drawn-out to a point where it makes my head hurt. Those two stories take up a whopping 12 pages, and the rest of the stupid thing is filled up with ADVERTISEMENTS for the rest of the Worldstorm books. Who’s Midnighter? Don’t know, don’t care, but, he’s got a two page splash for his upcoming book. Hey, thanks for bringing me up to speed, guys!

Apparently, Jim Lee, or whoever is in charge of this tripe, forgot that we’re not living in the ’90’s any longer, and people today have access to the Internet, so that if they want to see what’s coming out in the next few months in the comic world, they can get online and check the solicits. We no longer need to spend $2.99 on a comic book full of ads. Apparently, Jim Lee is so far out of the loop that he even thinks this is a good idea.

In other words, I got burned by Worldstorm. I was actually kind of looking forward to all of this, simply because the Captain Atom miniseries was kinda cool, but, seriously, thanks to this, I will not drop another cent on Worldstorm or any variation of it. Two dollars and ninety-nine cents. Hey, Jim Lee: You owe me a drink, you self-indulgent jerk.