Book of Doom: Civil War #4

Welcome to the second edition of the Legion of Doom’s Book of Doom. To clear up any confusion, every week we’re going to pick a book at random, kinda, and all of us members of the Legion are going to say a few words about it. We’re not saying that this is the best book of the week, and, in this case, I’d say it’s one of the boringest I picked up. But, it’s got Wonder Man in it, so I do enjoy my little “Where’s Waldo?” game with that.

Hopefully, if you’re reading this, you’ve also been keeping up on the Civil War in Marvel Comics, because, afterall, it is a Marvel Comics EVENT in Seven Parts. The cover says so. Last we saw of Civil War, some months ago, Thor had popped on the scene to bring in Cap and his defectees. This issue, Thor lays the hammer down and thrashes the group pretty soundly. He even goes so far as to kill Goliath (who?), after which, we find that it’s not actually Thor, but is instead a clone created by Tony Stark. A bunch of people on Iron Man’s side, including the Invisible Woman, defect, and Spider-Man certainly hints at his eventual defection, as well.

I don’t particularly like this issue, because it’s overdramatic and boring to me, but there is one part that’s pretty sweet. After Iron Man bests Captain America physically, and tells him it’s through, Cap’s response of, “You really think I’m going down to some pampered punk like you?” is hardcore. I’m just wondering when the bigger threat comes in that forces both sides to team up again. Issue six, perhaps?

Here’s what everybody else thought of it:

Jean-Claude Van Doom:
I want my $6 back.

Though I’d pledged to not read any of Civil War, I agreed to this review of #4, which meant also picking up #3 to have an idea of what was going on. And man, do I ever wish I’d stuck to my pledge.

These books are painfully simplistic, largely disregard the history of the characters (what do you expect from the main writer of the Ultimate universe?) and offer jack crap as far as discourse on real world events. I hated both of these books, and I don’t even give a crap that they killed off Goliath. What’s far worse is how EVERY major character is handled poorly. Spider-Man is too much of a lap dog. Captain America is too one-minded in his lust for civil liberty. Tony Stark is too merciless for registration (when it doesn’t even seem that he has a chance of a profit). Thor’s memory is utterly violated. Reed Richards is turned to a total worthless cockhead.

Just the very premise of this “event” pisses me off. In Marvel’s history, there have been so many times when innocents have been killed during superhuman battles that it’s impossible to believe the public would demand registration.

On another tack, how ’bout that art from Steve McNiven… Frankly, an epic book of this scale (hmm, like The Ultimates!) needs someone who can really handle huge-scale battles, and McNiven just can’t. He draws the main area of focus pretty well, but anything in the periphery is scarcely detailed and ridiculous. But then again, maybe the shallowness of the art really is necessary to convey this story.

Fin Fang Doom:
About a month ago I pitched a fit because Marvel delayed Civil War. I kind of feel silly now. Civil War #4 was awesome. Where to begin? We all knew Thor wasn’t real, but I didn’t see “superhuman clone murderer” thing coming. So the Fifty States Initiative is to put a superhuman clone in every state to keep the peace? GW authorized a cloning program? Suuuuurrrrrre. I guess Spidey’s going to switch sides when he finds out Iron Man cloned him too. There are two things you don’t do to Spider-Man: 1) kidnap/murder/impregnate his girlfriend/wife/aunt, and 2) clone him. That’s just a recipe for disaster. Sue Storm switching sides in the middle of the big fight was a great moment, but that final night with Reed was kind of creepy. It was obvious Goliath was going to bite it considering he’s the only character in the fight with no reason to not be dead. But since Goliath’s been MIA for so long and just recently came back, I didn’t care he died. There must have been a just-as-expendable character that’s been around more they could have killed. They sure found plenty of mutants to de-power to rile people up. Why is that team called the Thunderbolts? The Thunderbolts are heroes (actual heroes, not pretend heroes anymore). And are Mad Jack, Batroc the Leaper, Lady Deathstrike, Venom (the Scorpion one, not the cool one), Taskmaster, Bullseye and some chick I don’t even recognize the best choices for taking down the Secret Avengers when Iron Man, Spider-Man, clone Thor & Co. couldn’t do it? Is it just me, or does anyone else think Silhouette joining Cap’s team might be the deciding factor in this war?

Jim Doom:
I can’t say anything in that issue really caught me as a shock, but I felt moved by it. I doubt I’ve ever read a single comic in which Goliath made an appearance (other than Civil War #3) but that death changed the tone of the battle from a violent game of football to an actual war with casualties and the reactions of the characters made it work.

Balancing so many personalities has to be difficult, so there are going to be some reactions that just don’t click, like Cable leaving to join the pro-registration folks. But the reactions of everyone on both sides – with some feeling horrible guilt and others stubbornly sticking to their guns and refusing to admit any mistake – are what made this issue so memorable for me.