Reggie Hudlin is an idiot

Don’t read Marvel Knights Spider-Man #20. By all things good and holy, I implore you: Let this piece of crap remain unopened.

So the story starts out with Spidey and two people dressed in the original Iron Man suits (one grey, one gold) breaking into Castle Doom. Once inside, it’s revealed that the two Iron Men are Mary Jane and Aunt May. Yes, Reggie Hudlin thought it would make sense if Spider-Man dressed his wife and elderly aunt in suits of armor and broke into one of the most dangerous places on earth.

Then they go back in time to reminisce on the time Peter’s parents left him with May and Ben. But instead of actually travelling in time, like Doom’s time machine always did before, they go “It’s a Wonderful Life” style and can’t interact with people in the past, just watch them. Apparently, everyone’s so senile they can’t just remember what happened.

The return to the present and are attacked by Doombots. Spidey has one of his ‘sodes, and MJ defeats the Doombots (I guess if Lois can beat an OMAC…). Aunt May “hilariously” loses control of the armor and screams like an old woman. Ha FREAKING ha.

Spidey returns the suits to Tony Stark, and says he’s going to take MJ to Vegas. Tony, because he’s an alcoholic, is excited and wants to go to Vegas to have sex with lots of anonimous woman, snort cocaine off of their asses, and inject scotch directly into his veins (at least, that’s implied). Spidey has a dream-like sequence where he imagines cheating at blackjack using his Spider-sense, getting arrested, and then fighting the entire Wrecking Crew by himself wearing just his mask.

Morlun wants to eat Spidey, so he goes looking for him. He walks through Avengers Tower and apparently he’s invisible, has no odor, and makes no sound, because Luke Cage and Wolverine don’t notice him when he’s standing right in front of them. But Morlun can’t find Spider-Man, because…(drumroll please!)

HE’S SHARING A ROMANTIC NIGHT ALONE IN OUTER SPACE WITH MARY JANE IN A SPACE POD THEY BORROWED FROM TONY STARK!

Then Aunt May cries, assumedly because she was forced to be part of such a horrible piece of garbage. Oh yeah, the art sucked too.