It Makes Me Wonder

After picking up and reading the first issue of Wonder Woman today, I’m left wondering why she’s one of the “Big Three” players in the DCU. To put it simply, she’s never interested me, and I don’t understand how she can interest anybody. She has a lasso that makes people tell the truth, bracelets that deflect bullets, an invisible plane, and a sword. She’s also invincible, isn’t she? Honestly, I know next to nothing about this third of the Big Three, and I care so little about that that I don’t even feel like bothering with a quick search on Wikipedia. If she is invincible, though, then she doesn’t really need those bracelets, and her sword would be kinda pointless. Maybe she’s not. It doesn’t matter, either way.

In order to get past these vague generalities of why I don’t care about Wonder Woman, it’s going to be necessary to get right into the issue and talk about it, so, here’s your warning. If you don’t want to know what happened, blah blah blah.

Wonder Woman is Donna Troy.

Immediately, though, we find out that Diana is still alive, but she’s still on her little vacation from the hustle and bustle of breakin’ necks and cashin’ checks. Because of that fact, that she’s still alive, I mean, we’re forced to be introduced to each character with a small chunk of dialogue on one page and a full splash intro on the next. After four or five teases, we see Diana on the last page, sans Wonder Woman garb. Is she going to reclaim her role? I don’t really care, because, eventually, she’s going to have to. The reason Wally West worked as Barry Allen’s replacement was because after B.A’s death, we weren’t left with much of a choice, and the writers treated Wally as the Flash from there on. If they’re going to try to make Donna Troy a full-time replacement, they’re going to have to get rid of Diana. That’s probably not going to happen.

In his weekly editorial page, Dan Didio says, this week, that, “while you’re picking up your copy of 52 Week Five, don’t forget to grab a copy of Wonder Woman #1. Trust me, it’ll be well worth it.” C’mon, Danny Boy, don’t spit on my cupcake and tell me it’s frosting. The issue closes with Donna Troy being held captive (a fine replacement she was) and Diana, along with some bozo, are going to go look for her and uncapture her. Yawn.

So, really, why is Wonder Woman one of the Big Three? Why not Green Lantern, or Flash, or Detective Chimp? Oh, but Wonder Woman’s a strong, empowered female lead, and it’s so important for young girls to be able to find role models, and blah blah blah. Y’see, my intelligence is already insulted. I know comic books are ridiculously fictional, and I can handle guys flying around, I can handle people walking through walls, and I can understand some dude being able to use a highpowered ring capable of battling any enemy merely by using his sheer willpower, but, come on! A strong, empowered woman? I ain’t buyin’ it, so quit sellin’ it.